So I ate.

Trigger warning ⚠️ eating disorder

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I ate steak that was leftover from dinner last night. I kind of thought it would be okay.

Oops.

Purged that.

I have been doing that a lot this week. It started with this tiny bit of ice cream last Friday, and it’s been pretty much every dinner since then. I can’t get a hold of it.

I hardly eat anything for breakfast (if I eat breakfast), or lunch so I don’t feel overwhelmed by it or the need to purge, but dinner is such a trigger I can’t stand it.

I know this is really bad for me. It can screw up my esophagus and mess up my teeth even more.

Ugh.

I am afraid to tell my dietican and therapist at the end of this week that this is now a problem that I’m spinning out of control with.

I just need to go back to limiting dinner. I was not purging hardly at all then.

I am in trouble and I know it.

Grr.

I don’t have time to go inpatient anywhere even if that was an option.

I don’t even know that it would help.

Ugh.

So frustrated.

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