Nightmares

Trigger warning ⚠️ discussion of eating disorder stuff ⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️ I am not really okay. There’s a lot of things going on with my friends and I’m trying to help, but I think I’m sinking. Last night I had a really strange nightmare. I dreamed I was at my psych’s office and the scale was off …

Anxiety is a…

I’m anxious. I don’t know why. I kind of still, or again, have a headache and maybe that’s not helping. I am just kind of struggling tonight. My friends are struggling too so it’s not really fair to vent to them. I just kind of want to calm my brain down enough to sleep. I …

Finally see dietican today…

I haven’t seen her for a week and a half and I’ve only seen her once since getting out of the hospital due to scheduling conflicts. It’s been kind of a rough period for me and I didn’t see my therapist last week either which was kind of a problem in retrospect. So… I am …

Maybe I’m doing nothing today…

My head hurts a little still from the migraine I had last night, and my stomach is definitely not recovered, so I might just be resting today. It’s supposed to be 90° and if you couldn’t tell by reading other posts on my blog, I don’t do heat. I really should be trying to clean …

Blue!

I painted my nails and toes blue today! The yellow I had on them was chipping and I kind of wanted blue. I wanted a more sky blue color, but I didn’t have it, so this was as close as I could get. It’s an old OPI color. I made a total mess of my …

I can’t stop

Trigger warning ⚠️ eating disorder ⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️ I ate some cherries at 4:30 this morning. They stayed down and I did okay with them. I counted them as my breakfast. I ate a Greek salad for lunch at 1:30 p.m. and I was a little less okay with that because of the feta on it, but …

Well my liver may be safer…

…from the stupid vaccine I got yesterday, but my mood has taken a hit. It made me grouchy and kind of moody. I am not a fan. I totally binged on food yesterday, which is making me have a hard time today. I went to lunch with a friend and I ate a salad, but …

New doctor!!

Trigger warning ⚠️ eating disorder ⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️ I really love my new primary care doctor. She was so nice! Like awesome. I am a huge fan. That went really well and she listened to me and told me to put my scale away etc. It was good. I am happy with her. I had to get …

Five

That’s how many hours of sleep I got. I woke up at 3:30 this morning, after fighting the clock for an hour, and finally decided to give up and just stay up. I am tired, but not sleepy. I think a few things conspired to make this happen. One, I drank more caffeine yesterday than …

It’s morning…

I have bags under my eyes. It’s fantastic. I swear I got eight hours of sleep. I’m not sure why I’m so puffy this morning. I did have some pretty psychedelic dreams though. Whew! I don’t remember them very well, except that they were strange. It’s time for coffee for sure. Too bad the keurig …