Heartbroken

A friend of mine has done something so awful that I can't be her friend anymore. I tried to tell her that today, but she couldn't/ didn't hear me. I don't know how to be a human being and compassionate and also just cut someone off at the same time. I need to. I tried …

Graduation 🎓

I met with my case manager and prescriber today and we talked about a lot of things. My prescriber reduced my antidepressant and my antipsychotic which made me blissfully happy. We also talked about how far I've come in the last four years of case management and how well I've done in the last two …

Preschool

My neice started pre-kindergarten today. I'm so excited for her! She's absolutely adorable, (I'd post pictures, but I don't have permission from her mom, and I'm sadly hesitant to post pics of kids on the web nowadays). I am happy that she's finally going to be with other kids her own age and get to …

Days

I used to hate rainy days. It meant that I was "trapped" in the house and couldn't get anything done. I have changed my mind. I'm rather fond of rainy days now. They mean that I can finish projects inside of the house. They mean that I can relax, even if it is just for …

Trauma

I'm just starting to learn about trauma with my new therapist. There's a lot to learn. I'm starting to become convinced, not really because of this therapist or anything she's said, but because of long standing suspicion on my part, that I may not be actually bipolar. That's right; I may be a fraud. To …

Mouth 👄

Sometimes I let my mouth run away with me. Usually it's when I'm anxious about something. Today, I made someone feel stupid because I repeated the same thing over and over again and this person thought I was doing that because I thought they didn't understand. Nope. Just my anxiety making my mouth run before …

9:11

Today is a day of remembrance in the US. 18 years ago, nearly 3,000 people died in a horrific terrorist attack in NYC, Washington, D.C., and the skies over Pennsylvania. I was 21 and a college student in my junior year at Michigan State University. I was a transfer student so it was my first …

Journaling 📓

I really should be putting this is in a journal, but it's easier for me to write here and I don't have any secrets to keep from you. I already wrote about that weight loss appointment today and how I should've brought a support person with me. It was definitely hard to go by myself …

Should’ve

I have this appointment with the bariatric weight loss people for medical weight loss management, (not surgery), and I should've brought a friend. Waiting here totally sucks. I keep reminding myself that I am NOT a "mental patient" and that I am NOT broken. I CAN do this. Anxiety about an appointment like this is …

Camping ⛺️

I spent the last nine or so days camping in the upper peninsula of Michigan. It was AMAZING. I love it up there. It's so beautiful. There are so many things to do and so many beautiful things to see. We went to a ton of places along Lake Superior, and saw deer, and even …