Bookshelves

I met with my therapist today and I talked to her about how I learned to regulate my emotions by shelving them. I tend to avoid intense emotions by packing them up and putting them on the shelf. I practiced experiencing emotion today in her office. I hated it. I am trying. It was just …

Awake early!

I am up early because I have a therapy appointment first thing this morning. I tried to get myself into the shower this morning, (I carried my clothes into the bathroom and everything), but I just couldn’t do it. I am so tired. I had plenty of caffeine this morning, but I couldn’t get myself …

I cleaned!

I managed to spend some time cleaning my closet. I guess that is part of my room so I can count it as cleaning that space. I also went grocery shopping with my stepdad and hauled everything into the house, so I did my good deeds for the day. It’s cloudy and gross today so …

Dichotomy

I am living in a weird split place. I am all at once completely stressed about my room and how messy it is and the work that is going to be involved to get it back to a livable state, and also able to shut that off and hang with friends at the same time. …

Migraine day!

I successfully made it to my hair and therapy appointments today, but I am definitely getting a migraine. I have been exhausted all day and now my head is feeling like it’s between a vice. I took some migraine medication, so I’m hoping that helps. I wanted to clean in my closet today, but I …

Something good in therapy…

I had a really good session with my therapist today. Maybe it was just that I hadn’t seen her in what felt like forever. I’m not sure. It just seemed like it was really productive. We talked about how I felt really invalidated by my medical teams and how much that sucked. We talked about …

Broken system

The mental health system is seriously messed up. I know this is not news to anyone anywhere, but I just have to rant for a second. First, let me be clear and say that I am incredibly blessed to have a great psych provider, a great therapist, and parents who help me access a wonderful …

So stressed…

I’m so stressed I’m stress eating. This is from the other day, but I ate a large strawberry frosty from Wendy’s. Seriously. Now, the thing was amazing, but that’s kind of not the point. I’m trying to lose weight, not gain it. Stress eating is not my best look. I just can’t cope with trying …

“Opposite Action”

There’s this thing in DBT called Opposite Action where you do the opposite of your emotion to try to change it. Today, I’m definitely trying to change the depression and anxiety that I was experiencing yesterday. I changed my sheets and I am washing (or rather drying now) my pillowcases. I made plans with a …

Therapy was so helpful today

I am so glad I had therapy today. I talked to her about being in the hospital and how I basically just disassociated to survive being in there. She was glad I got out when I did because she agreed with me that I probably would have just gotten worse had I stayed in there. …