Anxiety is ramping up

I’ve been helping my friend since she got out of the hospital. I mean, it’s been good and I’m glad that I can be there for her, but I am also feeling pulled in multiple directions. My mom said she wanted me to put up Christmas decorations, but then I guess she went ahead and …

My head is empty… or maybe it’s too full…

I have therapy today and I’m super grateful for that, but I am also kind of… unsure what to talk about. Perhaps it’s because there are just so many things going on. I guess. I am just stressed. Like the numb kind of stressed. I don’t know. I just want to curl up into a …

Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde

A reader might think that this post would be about me by the title. I do live with bipolar disorder. However, today I’m ranting about my Stepdad who unloaded on me like a sub machine gun at point blank range last night. He is so freaking terrified of mental illness and what it is and …

If I say it enough times…

…everything is okay. If I say that enough times, perhaps I will start to believe it. I am just feeling out of sorts from these stupid steroids. There is also a bunch of uncertainty swirling around in my life at the moment and I honestly hate that. I just wish things would calm down. I …

I feel like a mess

I just feel like garbage. I have a room full of garbage I should be taking care of and I’m not in the mood to. Depression is kicking my butt. So is anxiety. I know it’s likely the steroids I have to take because of the allergic reaction to the stupid tetanus shot, but it’s …

Trying to calm down

Everything is bugging me. I want to do a thousand things right up until I go to them and then I don’t really have the gumption. I am irritated and sad and miserable. I need a shower. I can’t relax. I HATE having to be on steroids. I seriously think I’m only taking a half …

Steroids make me tired!

And grouchy. I just want to stay in my room and sleep. I prefer not to deal with people. I don’t mind the texts that come through periodically. It’s good to stay connected, but it is hard for me to engage in an actual conversation. I went to my cousin’s briefly to run an errand …

I’m really going to fail this class…

I’m throwing in the towel. I honestly can’t. It’s like there is a giant wall between me and the requirements left for this class. I can’t even begin to fathom how I am going to get started. I can’t focus. On top of that, every day someone needs me for something that I don’t feel …

Irritated!

Apparently my body no longer tolerates tetanus shots either because I had a delayed allergic reaction to mine. How fun! My arm had like a golf ball size lump on it that was getting bigger, and I woke up today all itchy and miserable everywhere. I get to take more steroids! Woo hoo! I am …

Christmas lights!

One of the cities near where I live does a thing in their park downtown every year where they have an event with Santa and throw the lights on in the park. There were a lot of people in the park including tons of very tiny children and many people with their dogs. I just …