Unscheduled

I literally have no scheduled activities today. I had to double check my calendar.  I don't know how I feel about it.  On one hand, I'm super grateful to not have to worry about anything in particular. On the other, I'm stressed about all of the things I could be doing around here.  I literally …

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Mixed Episodes

I saw where someone said that no one talks about mixed episodes. It's such an important topic that not only am I violating my "one word title" rule, I wanted to repost a piece I wrote for The Mighty here.  I hope it helps someone:   What It's Like to Experience Mixed Episodes With Bipolar Disorder I …

Surprise!!!!

I opened my eyes to a huge migraine this morning. I have no idea why. The weather and pressure patterns have been out of control though so I'm going to blame those. I am not sure I am going to have a Crumb of sanity left between my friends and my mom and my life either. …

Outlier

Do you ever just have those days where you feel awkward or like an outsider? I think it's a bit of social anxiety really, but I just feel a tad off this afternoon.  I'm noticing that my anxiety starts to ramp up in the afternoons. Maybe it's just that the anxiety meds I take at …

Tulip

The library books already paid off. I drew a tulip in pastels this morning for my mom. Previous to now I haven't really been able (or even tried) to draw anything with those, so it was an experiment.  It's amazing how art calms me right down. I feel so much better. I think I'm going …

Hour

I worked for a solid hour and pulled all of the clothes from the closet (they are laying on the bed waiting for me to another closet two flights up), and I sorted through them as I went so I have another half a bag filled for donation. I also filled a basket to take …

Drawing

I went to the library yesterday to snag some books on drawing and art. I'm so excited! Of course the first thing I decided I need is more art supplies. Namely, better pencils (I only have a couple art pencils) and a better set of pastels.  Clearly since I am broke I won't be doing …

Coffee

The swirls in my coffee cup are about as firm as the Tentative plans I have today to organize some more. It's a dreary dark rainy day. I did manage nearly ten hours of uninterrupted sleep however, and that was on the higher dose of the Remeron. Some weird dreams still, but I also slept …

Squirrels!

We'll see how I do at group tonight. I am super restless and anxious this evening. I really want to be at my house hiding in my room right now, but I don't want to even drive there.  I feel paralyzed by how anxious I feel.  I don't know that I can sit through a …

Rested

I am officially rested and now I am restless. It's nearly 2:30 and I am laying here in my pajamas. I should definitely find some lunch to augment the half a bowl of Frosted Flakes I've eaten today and then I need to find an activity.  I've thought about going to the library to see …