Giving up fear…

Choosing to clean may look like an weird way to express giving up fear, but hear me out. My bedroom has been a disaster area for a year. At least. For that year, I have been in and out of the hospital more times than I can count with pancreatitis. It’s gotten so bad that …

Life was technicolor…

Do you remember life before the internet? A long time ago, in a land not far away, before the internet, we had these. Encyclopedias. These things are fantastic. While they may be forty years old now, they are a magnificent snapshot of history and still contain a wealth of knowledge about a whole host of …

Casino!

Okay, so I did not, in fact, go to Las Vegas. I did go to a casino an hour or so away from where I live and play penny slots with my friend. I hardly ever gamble because it’s expensive and a waste of money usually. I also rarely have extra cash to spend and …

Over this

Don’t get me wrong, my hospital room has this gorgeous view, but I’m done being here. I’m pretty sure I’m being discharged today, which is fine by me, I just want to go already. I do not know why I am still sitting here. The doctor I’ve had for the last two days was a …

Sending up a prayer

It might seem like a silly thing to pray for, but I’m sending a prayer that I get out of this “purgatory” area of the hospital and get a “real” room. The room I have now is very small and so it is impossible for me to keep the door closed. Unfortunately, that means I …

Sardines

I absolutely do not want to sound ungrateful, because I am just grateful to not have to be taking care of these symptoms by myself anymore, but this unit that they have me in is like packing people in sardine cans. My room is maybe 8x8, has no windows, and a shared bathroom with the …

Feel like crappola

Well, guess who is getting admitted to the hospital again? I feel like hot garbage. I have been trying so hard all week to feel better and nothing has been working. Finally, I just threw in the towel and went to the emergency room. They were nice to me this time and I only had …

Stuck

I ate some spaghetti last night for dinner. Not very much, and it was mostly noodles and sauce. Anyway, I was nauseated all night long and just felt terrible. It was the first time I deviated from my “bananas, toast, jello and cereal” diet in several days. I guess my stomach wasn’t ready. I ate …

Faith, kindness and generosity

What is the legacy you want to leave behind? When I’m done walking this earth, I hope I’m remembered for these three things. Firstly, I hope that people recognize me as a woman of faith. I know I have work to do in this area, especially because I often struggle here with my relationship with …

Woo hoo!

Yay for self care! I got in the shower and I shaved my legs! If you don’t do that, let me tell you what happens when you don’t keep up on that even a little bit. It becomes a huge chore. Like an extra twenty minutes in the shower kind of chore. I thought I …