Well, I volunteered

I went to my volunteer gig and I made it for almost three hours, which was my goal. I genuinely have a terrible headache and there really wasn’t a lot left for me to do, so it seemed fine for me to take off. I really want a nap. I need to clean and do …

So worried about today

I have so many things in the fire right now. I am going to volunteer in just over an hour and I’m pretty tired so I’m worried about how I’m going to do at the desk today. I don’t want to appear to be so blonde I can’t do it. I am also “on alert” …

My heart is full

I got a nap today and now I am sitting with my cousins and their little ones. My heart is overflowing. I’m so happy to have them back in town. I was such an idiot when they were here before that I didn’t see them as much as I should. I won’t make that mistake …

Dream a little dream

I didn’t get a lot of sleep last night, but what I did get I dreamt through. It was very strange. I had dreams about nearly everyone I knew all at once. I was trying to stay kind of awake to take care of a friend, so I think that’s why my brain was so …

Wrote the essay!

I wrote the essay! It’s done! Yay me! I have been stressing about that silly thing for weeks. I wish I had just sat down and written it sooner, but I don’t think I would have had the perspective I needed to have. So whatever. I am glad it’s done. It’s in God’s hands now. …

The best laid plans…

I went and spent time with my cousin and her girls. It was a blast, but… I developed a killer migraine. I think it’s the weather and all the fantabulous things that it’s doing right now. It’s so humid you can probably drink the air with a straw and little pop up storms keep developing …

Playing today!

Playing with my two favorite girls today and their mother, (dad is working). I think we are going to clean and finish painting a bedroom. Ironic since I haven’t finished cleaning mine, but whatever. I’m not trying to paint mine. I am very excited to play. It’s good for my soul that they are back …

Unfinished poem

Sitting on my bed Ghosts dancing in my head Talking to the shadows on the floor And the monsters opposite the door. The fire raging in my brain Dreams going down the drain Sadness overtakes me And I can no longer see. Through the fog of depression And walls of oppression The stars are occluded …

Too broken to help

I hate the saying, “broken crayons still color.” Sometimes they don’t. Sometimes they are just broken. Sometimes they are covered in all the colors around them that they are rendered useless. I don’t know. I am broken. I feel like such a fraud applying to this graduate program. Like… I don’t know how I am …

Slept in… mixed feelings.

I am feeling a little blah. Or a lot blah. I slept in to 11:00 a.m. That’s very late for me. I think the rainy/cloudy weather had something to do with it. Anyway, I’m again feeling unmotivated and uninspired. I don’t know what would help that at this point. I guess I should just be …