Insecurity

Having one of those days where anxiety is very high and I feel like everything I say or do is the wrong thing. I hate myself today. I don't even have anything else to write. I am just having a day. Image from Pixabay.

Stupid

Trigger warning ⚠️ I should say at the outset that I'm safe. I have made a few promises to people that I don't intend to break. That said, my brain is in stupid places. I can't shake this hopeless feeling like I just want to throw in the towel. It's kind of taking on a … Continue reading Stupid

No Show

I completely no-showed on physical therapy today. That's right, I'm that a-hole that didn't call and didn't show up. I couldn't do it. I couldn't call and make up another lie about why I wasn't coming either. I just couldn't get there. I'll probably get a bill or something that I can't pay because of … Continue reading No Show

Regulated

I saw my therapist this morning. She said a couple of things. First, she said that I needed to accept my mood state without pathologizing it. That's a difficult thing to do. I'm used to freaking out about mood swings. I guess I need to just accept where I am and deal with what is. … Continue reading Regulated

Almost

I almost just can't today. I have three appointments and it feels like too much. I feel like an abysmal failure going into two of them and I don't know if my therapist is really going to be able to help me reset that. That kind of thing isn't really her area. I still feel … Continue reading Almost

Off

Nothing is especially wrong today, I just feel a bit "off." It seems to be in the air around me as well. It's important for me to be supportive to the people that I care about and I want to make sure that I have enough energy to give to that even though my mood … Continue reading Off

Remembering

Yesterday was the 5th anniversary of my Grandmother's passing. I don't normally mark those kinds of occasions, but my Grandpa does, and he doesn't handle the day very well. He's 94. I couldn't really bring myself to post about it yesterday because I miss her and because I was trying to not to be overwhelmed … Continue reading Remembering

Sunflowers 🌻

I got these as a gift on Sunday. I love them. They are a ray of sunshine on these days when it's either been so hot I can't go outside, or it's been dark and stormy. ❤️ Photo by me.

Naps

Naps are magical. I don't feel all better, but I do notice an improvement. I was able to start tackling some of the projects around the house that I wanted to work on. I was asked to edit that press release again, but I think I can manage today. It just feels more manageable in … Continue reading Naps

Sink

I have a sink full of dirty dishes to attack today and a rest of a kitchen to attack. Thankfully, I have the entire day to do it because I am feeling completely unmotivated. I am still feeling very overwhelmed and like I can't handle things. It's supposed to be stormy today and tonight and … Continue reading Sink