Booked

I went to my support group... for a hot second. I didn't really want to participate in the large group tonight because the topic was really, "what should we do for topics in the future?" and I was experiencing ridiculous anxiety so sitting through that wasn't exactly going to distract me. I brought my journal …

Bumble

I'm just busy like a little bumble bee. I kind of don't want to be. I slept like crap. Nightmares and the whole bit. I kept waking up. My car is a disgusting mess. I have an appointment today. I have to pick up my stepdad from the car dealership since he has to get …

Yay!

I did it! I finished the orientation thingie for grad school! Yay!!!!!!!!! It was a simple thing, but it was a hurdle. I got it done. There's so much going on and I got it done. It's not great. It wasn't probably my best work, although I'm not sure how I would have honestly answered …

Vodka…

...and some nights you just need cheap vodka. I never really drink, so whatever, but tonight I just did. One drink. Okay, it was probably more like two since I poured it, but again, whatever. I didn't go to the bar and get smashed, which is what I want to do. I have church tomorrow, …

London

I keep dreaming that I'm in London. Last night, it was a nightmare, but it was still set in London. It's so weird. I've been there several times, but it's been since the 90's. It's a beautifully awesome place. I don't know why I keep dreaming I'm there. I also don't know why I'm having …

Feelings

I couldn't find a more accurate picture to describe how I feel this evening. I mean, I ate a bowl full of chocolate chips instead of drinking a bottle of wine, but whatever. If I had a bottle of wine, I probably would have drank it. I don't really understand where this wave of depression …

Bombing

My mood is bottoming out. I don't know why. It just crashed this afternoon and I feel like total crap. I thought it was anxiety and so I took my anxiety meds, but that didn't really do anything to help. I'm still miserable. I know I have to just somehow ride this out, but I …

Rescue!

I am currently visiting a friend for the weekend, (and that's where I got snowed in). We tried to shovel the end of her driveway, but it was similar to concrete. Thankfully, we have friends who are young men in their 20's, (they are a couple so don't go thinking anything untoward), and they are …

Cabin

It's been snowing for three days. I have cabin fever in a bad way. I can't get my car out from where it is right now so it's just stuck, and I am flat out miserable. I should probably be working on the stuff for graduate school today, but I'm feeling very distracted by the …

Conversations

I had lunch today with my oldest friend. We had one of those conversations that covered every topic and seemed to last forever and take no time at all. We talked about a lot of things: her kids, her family, my other friends, my family, our heads, the usual things. She helped me figure out …