Bookshelves

I met with my therapist today and I talked to her about how I learned to regulate my emotions by shelving them. I tend to avoid intense emotions by packing them up and putting them on the shelf. I practiced experiencing emotion today in her office. I hated it. I am trying. It was just …

Missing people

There are just some people who come into my life and leave such a lasting and indelible mark that I will never forget them. Sometimes, even when things are going well, I really miss them. I miss the conversations and the camaraderie. I miss the way their light shines and the way I feel when …

Awake early!

I am up early because I have a therapy appointment first thing this morning. I tried to get myself into the shower this morning, (I carried my clothes into the bathroom and everything), but I just couldn’t do it. I am so tired. I had plenty of caffeine this morning, but I couldn’t get myself …

Unmotivated today

I was going to get stuff done today, I swear. I planned on it, but the day just took a left turn. I know it’s because I was up too late last night. I slept until two in the afternoon today and then I didn’t feel like doing anything. Ugh. I tried to pump caffeine …

I cleaned!

I managed to spend some time cleaning my closet. I guess that is part of my room so I can count it as cleaning that space. I also went grocery shopping with my stepdad and hauled everything into the house, so I did my good deeds for the day. It’s cloudy and gross today so …

Dichotomy

I am living in a weird split place. I am all at once completely stressed about my room and how messy it is and the work that is going to be involved to get it back to a livable state, and also able to shut that off and hang with friends at the same time. …

Something good in therapy…

I had a really good session with my therapist today. Maybe it was just that I hadn’t seen her in what felt like forever. I’m not sure. It just seemed like it was really productive. We talked about how I felt really invalidated by my medical teams and how much that sucked. We talked about …

Finally home

I am finally home from the hospital. After all of that, they still don’t know what happened or why I got so sick. They kind of chalk it up to pancreatitis, but they don’t really know. It’s super annoying. Regardless, I still feel like crap, but I’m home feeling that way instead of laying in …

I finally see the light…

I have been in the hospital since last Saturday night. I’m so over it. After talking with the doctor today, I finally see hope though. I mean, I think I will probably be going home tomorrow or Sunday. This makes me very happy. I suspect I won’t be doing much when I go home besides …

Big storms!

We had some nasty storms last night I guess. I didn’t notice them because I was in the hospital and my window looks out onto a courtyard thing, instead of fully outside. Thank goodness. I’m pretty scared of storms so I am not a fan. Anyway, a bunch of people I know lost power last …