Beginning

This requires a TW: SUICIDE This is also LONG. I realized I have yet to tell my "diagnosis story" with any kind of detail. Here goes. I think I really started showing symptoms by age 11 or 12. I can remember crying at night with my Mom for no reason. I blamed family members, I … Continue reading Beginning

Day 18

Our illustrious governor has extended the stay at home order until the end of the month. Three more weeks! It doesn't sound like she has a rational plan for opening things up after that time is up either. I'm not sure she's going to. I think she might just extend the time. I may lose … Continue reading Day 18

Allergies!!!

I did a stupid thing yesterday morning. My friend puts a bunch of Sucralose, (Splenda), in her coffee and I'm terribly allergic. I went to make my coffee in the late morning and grabbed her mug instead of mine off the counter, (because I was tired and needed coffee), and made and drank half the … Continue reading Allergies!!!

Day 17

Are we ever going to return to "normal?" Is life ever going to look the same? I'm starting to think not. I don't know how to begin to grieve that. I'm really sad this morning. Yesterday was a tough day for a multitude of reasons. I need to shower. I need to run to the … Continue reading Day 17

Winds

There's a cold front blowing in and it's getting windy. It will start raining soon. I'm currently watching a squirrel precariously perched on a swaying fragile branch in between the swirling tendrils of smoke from my cigarette. It makes me think about how tenuous things have become in the last month. I feel like that … Continue reading Winds

Day 16

Trying to make a routine in this silly mess is hard. I'm still feeling overwhelmed by everything, and my friend is sick, (not with COVID), and I'm just plain freaked out. I don't know what to do. The dishes are piled up past the top of the sink and I started working on them today. … Continue reading Day 16

Storms.

I hate thunderstorms. Mostly because I am still scared of them from my childhood. They totally freak me out. What can I say? I mean, I no longer sit them out in the basement, but I don't like them. We are under a thunderstorm watch right now and they are saying we could get strong … Continue reading Storms.

Coronavirus Anxiety Workbook

Okay. You guys know I don't use multiple words in my titles, but this is important. There is an awesome workbook you can download for free here. It walks you through all kinds of helpful things and you should definitely check it out if you are struggling like me. ❤️

Day 15

Welcome to the jungle. Reports are that Americans are drinking and smoking pot more. Duh. Gotta do something to pass the time. I'm not super sure that it's a wonderful idea, I'm just saying I get it. I am trying to find things that inspire me. I'm not really succeeding. I do think tomorrow I'm … Continue reading Day 15

Study.

The University of Michigan houses the largest study on bipolar disorder in the world. They are always looking for more people to join their study, (as far as I know). You can find more about it here. Anyway, I've been a part of this study for 2 years now, and today is my 2 year … Continue reading Study.

Mask.

I am sporting my bandana mask. Holy crap. First, the pony tail thingies tried to take my ears off. Second, I hate stuff on my face, so I was pretty sure I was being suffocated. That said, I did what the CDC said and looked like a robber going into the gas station. Fun times … Continue reading Mask.