Beginning

This requires a TW: SUICIDE This is also LONG. I realized I have yet to tell my "diagnosis story" with any kind of detail. Here goes. I think I really started showing symptoms by age 11 or 12. I can remember crying at night with my Mom for no reason. I blamed family members, I …

Way too early

I woke all happy and awake at 5:30 am, and this is me totally regretting it. My alarm is set for two hours from now. I could be sleeping. I mean, I could if my brain would let me. I’m sure it’s because I took a long nap yesterday. Watch me do that again this …

Doctor tomorrow…

…and technically this is a follow up to being in the hospital with pancreatitis. Like seriously I have seen doctors since then so I’m not sure what the point is, but I have yet to see my actual PCP, so it’s probably good. I need to talk to him anyway because I am probably leaving …

Okay stingy things…

…you can go away now. I’m not a fan of you outside, but I tolerate you because you bring flowers. There is absolutely no reason for you to be inside my house. Particularly in my bathroom. Go away! Okay for real, I have no desire to get stung again and there was a wasp on …

Weather shift…

…and this will be me for most of the day. I have a wicked migraine started. It started hitting me while I was at church. So fun. I maybe should have noticed it when I couldn’t wake up this morning. I don’t know. My mood was off again this morning which is also usually a …

I feel…

Kind of numb. I don’t know. I don’t think tonight is a great night. I forced dinner down my throat when I wasn’t even hungry because I don’t want my dietican to send me to the hospital. That was super hard. I feel sick. I took my meds early hoping I would go back to …

Gave up in the afternoon…

I had a good morning, but then it just kind of fell flat. I couldn’t think of anything to do and I didn’t want to clean. Honestly, I didn’t want to do anything this afternoon. I should have done something since it was a nice day. I just couldn’t make myself. So I slept for …

Had a good morning.

The sun is out and I did end up going shopping. I went with a friend though so it was tempered. I also went to the craft store with her and limited myself to things that I actually had to get for my cousin, so that was good. I ate breakfast and lunch. I am …

A big sale you say? Count me in please!

Sometimes when I’m struggling, shopping is like my “go-to” for stress relief. I don’t have to be hypomanic or manic for this to happen. In fact, it’s probably more likely to happen if I’m sort of depressed and trying to drag myself out of it than anything. I’ve learned to sort of mitigate it by …

I am not loving today…

The moon is full this weekend and it’s also Friday the 13th. I don’t generally put a whole ton of stock in those kinds of things, but hey. I got stung by a stupid yellow jacket and the phone nurse made me go to the emergency room since I had some kind of reaction. The …

Stung by a bee! 🐝

It’s Friday the 13th y’all. How do we start our day? Getting stung by a stupid bee. Literally a stupid one because it got stuck in my hair while I was drinking coffee on the deck. I went to take a drink and it nailed me. Right on my arm. Fantastic. My grandma was very …