Beginning

This requires a TW: SUICIDE This is also LONG. I realized I have yet to tell my "diagnosis story" with any kind of detail. Here goes. I think I really started showing symptoms by age 11 or 12. I can remember crying at night with my Mom for no reason. I blamed family members, I …

Sick all day and awake all night…

For real. My stomach has not been cooperating, really all week, but it got really bad today. I felt terrible all day long and really only got one load of laundry done. That was some kind of miracle. I am now wide awake at 2:20 a.m. and still feeling pretty gross. As in, I’m not …

I’ve sunk

I have been treading water since I got sick two weeks ago (regular readers may have noticed my lack of posts). I have been trying to keep my head up and do the things I need to do. I haven’t been though. I made it to two appointments that I couldn’t really cancel and other …

My mood is trash

I am grouchy and tired and restless and depressed. I chalk it up to being on painkillers for a week while I was in the hospital and the few days before. I feel miserable. They totally mess up my mood. I need to do some basic things, and some not so basic things, to take …

Crazy, sick or both?

I finally got out of the hospital on Sunday. I still feel not so good. I’m just really tired now and my legs are inexplicably like lead and jelly at the same time. I actually didn’t notice that in the hospital when I was walking around my room. Now I notice it. I don’t know. …

When history repeats itself….

Back in the ER and waiting for a room this time. My pancreas is not cooperating. Fun fun! I feel icky. I just want to nap. I don’t feel well. I did get into graduate school though! Yay! I’m pretty stoked about that. Just gotta get over this nasty stuff. Photo by me.

Memories from a year ago…

A year ago I was admitted to the hospital with pancreatitis. I guess I am grateful I am not IN the hospital this time. I just feel super crappy. I wish they could figure out why this keeps happening. So frustrated. So tired of getting randomly ill. I just need a while to recover I …

Middle of the night TV

I slept all day yesterday, so of course I am awake at 4:30 this morning. I am watching South Park. It’s so ridiculous. I haven’t watched this in forever. I forgot how funny it is. I am still tired, actually, but I can’t sleep because I am in pain. I don’t want to take any …

Like crap on a stick

I am not feeling the best. I went to the emergency room yesterday with upper left abdominal pain, and it looks a lot like I have the beginning of pancreatitis again. I’m trying to nurse myself back to health with fluids and meds. I feel disgusting. They sort of don’t believe me when I tell …

I seriously cannot

I am at the darn zoo otherwise known as the emergency room waiting room. I’ve been here for five hours. I think it’s going to be another hour. It’s absolutely ridiculous. There is a young woman here with three boys all under the age of four. She is totally outmanned. It’s taken security, other sick …

Not ready for this week

I have so many things I need to do this week. Tomorrow I need to try to schedule a dentist appointment again. It’s so hard to get into my dentist. It’s stupid. I just have to keep trying though. I have to schedule a medical test. I have to schedule an oil change for my …