Beginning

This requires a TW: SUICIDE This is also LONG. I realized I have yet to tell my "diagnosis story" with any kind of detail. Here goes. I think I really started showing symptoms by age 11 or 12. I can remember crying at night with my Mom for no reason. I blamed family members, I … Continue reading Beginning

Sometimes…

... prayers get answered in weird ways. I asked that people pray for me on Facebook that I not end up in the hospital for Thanksgiving. Okay. That was before I knew my pancreatic enzymes were through the roof and I was really sick. I am in so much pain. Like for real. I’ve never … Continue reading Sometimes…

Lab.

I’m at the lab waiting to get my blood drawn to see if my pancreatitis is getting better or worse. I really don’t want to spend thanksgiving in the hospital. That would suck. At the same time, I’m really concerned as to why I keep getting elevated pancreatic enzyme levels with no explanation. I need … Continue reading Lab.

Thankful: 23rd

I love the feeling I get on holiday mornings. The anticipation. The excitement of traditions. All of it. That’s my favorite. I’m super thankful to have had so many great holidays with family and close friends. Image from Facebook.

Again?!&$@

Guess who has pancreatitis again???! This girl. It’s really mild so far, but it hurts and I’m over it. I’m so tired of getting this. I feel like crap. I’m so tired of being sick. I threw up in the emergency room like four times. The medicine they gave me sort of helped. I feel … Continue reading Again?!&$@

Marx.

I found out that I got a 97% on my paper that included a discussion on Marxism. Actually, the part on Marxism was the part my prof didn’t make any comments on and said was “great.” Go figure. That was the part I hated writing. She docked me points for not getting perfect APA style … Continue reading Marx.

Thankful: 20th

The greatest disappointment that I’m thankful for... Goodness, this one is difficult. I guess If I had to admit it, it was a solid disappointment to get to nearly 40 and not have children. Medically, it would have been a nightmare, and people who have followed my blog forever know that now that’s not possible, … Continue reading Thankful: 20th

Dread.

It’s DBT group time and I’m completely dreading it. It’s not that I hate it, I just don’t want to sit in front of my computer for two hours. I’m over doing things virtually. Over it. So whatever. It is what it is. Look at me practicing radical acceptance. Sigh. Image from Pexels.

Covid.

I am beyond over this stupid virus. I am so tired of lockdowns and fear and people attempting to shame other people into doing things like shame is an effective tool. I’m tired of people being rude and condescending. I’m tired of the “I had covid so I am a victim and my story is … Continue reading Covid.