Beginning

This requires a TW: SUICIDE This is also LONG. I realized I have yet to tell my "diagnosis story" with any kind of detail. Here goes. I think I really started showing symptoms by age 11 or 12. I can remember crying at night with my Mom for no reason. I blamed family members, I … Continue reading Beginning

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Tidal

This depression is horrific. They all are. It feels as if I'm like Peter Pan except I'm trying to find my missing soul instead of my shadow. My body feels like someone is slowly bending and breaking my bones from the inside. The pain that wells up in waves ts is unimaginable. The only thing … Continue reading Tidal

Goals: 1/19

Good morning! It's Friday! I won't be doing Friday Quotes again today probably (sad faces I know). It takes time to research those and I don't have the focus right now. I have a couple of goals for today: The very last of the Christmas ornaments need to be wrapped and put away. These are … Continue reading Goals: 1/19

Rationality

Sometimes I just lose my s@#t. It's not pretty. I don't mean in anger, although that's happened. Occasionally though what happened earlier today happens, and I let my emotions take over the driver's seat. I'm not talking about not going to the art class. That was still the right thing. I am talking about how … Continue reading Rationality

Peace

I was worried about disappointing people or letting myself down about not going to this art class, but I have to be honest that my main feeling about it is relief. I was so freaking stressed out about it that it was ridiculous. Should I have pushed myself anyway? Maybe. I don't know. I do … Continue reading Peace

Already?

I'm already in tears this morning and therapy hasn't even started yet. I had to sit in the parking lot for a few minutes to get myself together before I could even come into the lobby. Thankfully I am my usual ten minutes early. I am not feeling myself today. I just wish things could … Continue reading Already?

Had

I've had better days. I've also had worse ones. This one kind of falls nearer to the crap ones than I would like, but it will get better I guess. I'm just struggling. Depression has been kicking my butt lately and I didn't need to have weird a$$ side effects from another damn medication. It … Continue reading Had