This requires a TW: SUICIDE This is also LONG. I realized I have yet to tell my "diagnosis story" with any kind of detail. Here goes. I think I really started showing symptoms by age 11 or 12. I can remember crying at night with my Mom for no reason. I blamed family members, I … Continue reading Beginning



So I went to the bar. Got a tiny buzz. Then I decided it was dumb. I ate a salad and some frozen fruit whip stuff, (like a sorbet), and came home with my friend. My friend gets extra bonus points for being my designated driver tonight. She rocks. I just hit critical mass with … Continue reading Bar

The Good

Here I was entirely freaked out about the food I ate on vacation and how I was gaining weight. Turns out I lost two pounds! I have no idea how I managed to do that, but whatever. Yay! I did do a fair amount of walking on a few of those days, and we were … Continue reading The Good


My cousin and I have been like sisters for a very long time. Her babies are like my nieces, and the oldest one, (3 and a half), I am especially close to. Hugging that little girl goodbye broke something inside of me. I have already Elaborated on why this is so hard for me in … Continue reading Heartbreak


I hate leaving my Dad. I hate that he chooses to live a third of the country away because he doesn't like the weather where I live. I hate that he makes me go through this every time. I miss my life at home too and I have several things this week that I need … Continue reading Torn


My blog has been deliberately void of posts and Vague during the last week because of my time with my Dad. I'm not convinced that he or my stepmother don't read my blog, (despite my preference that they not since my Michigan parents seem to be able to honor my request), and I don't want … Continue reading Deliberate