Beginning

This requires a TW: SUICIDE This is also LONG. I realized I have yet to tell my "diagnosis story" with any kind of detail. Here goes. I think I really started showing symptoms by age 11 or 12. I can remember crying at night with my Mom for no reason. I blamed family members, I … Continue reading Beginning

Restless and anxious

I don’t know why I am those things. I just am. I’m also tired, which could be part of it I guess. I decided to take my night meds early because I was feeling so weird. Hopefully they help me relax and sleep. I could read I guess. I don’t really feel like doing much … Continue reading Restless and anxious

At the bar…

...but I’m drinking water for a change and eating a half salad. With chicken. I’m trying. Tw: eating disorder I realized I had only eaten a hard boiled egg today and it was five o’clock, so I needed to eat something a little more substantial. I also wanted to be around people other than my … Continue reading At the bar…

Getting over it

I’m getting my crown back one day at a time. Do I think the new med is helping with that? Definitely. Am I silly enough to think that 2mg of anything is powerful enough to change my life and turn things around all by itself? Not a chance. Someone I respect pointed out that there’s … Continue reading Getting over it

A size down!

Tw: eating disorder I went to my dresser this morning and thought I’d try my jeans in the next size down since I’ve lost almost 20 lbs. They fit! I’m so excited. These jeans are much lighter fabric so they are better for summer. I’ll be in them for a while because they are stretchy … Continue reading A size down!

Cycle

It’s scary how many times I’ve been here before. Bruised, bloody, beaten. Pieces of my heart scattered over the floor. Balancing the tightrope between life and death. “I can’t continue anymore.” Yet, something strange happens every time deep within my core. I crawl, stumble stagger and wobble until suddenly I soar. Older original art by … Continue reading Cycle