Beginning

This requires a TW: SUICIDE This is also LONG. I realized I have yet to tell my "diagnosis story" with any kind of detail. Here goes. I think I really started showing symptoms by age 11 or 12. I can remember crying at night with my Mom for no reason. I blamed family members, I … Continue reading Beginning

Fired?

Well, my therapist was really nice about it, but I am pretty sure she fired me. She said if I needed her in the future, to let her know. Pretty sure that means she is not meeting with me anymore. Sooooo... not sure what to think. Hopefully, the DBT place gets me hooked up with … Continue reading Fired?

Disappointing.

It’s so hard for me to disappoint people. I spend untold amounts of energy working on being a “people pleaser” and just trying to keep things on an even keel. I am so freaking worried about having to tell my therapist that I am switching over to DBT. I know she is going to be … Continue reading Disappointing.

Understand?

I don’t understand how I could be in a place where I got all of my homework done last night, and I still had a panic attack. I mean, I sort of do. I overthink everything and I started getting ahead of myself about the upcoming week. Honestly though. Why can’t I just be happy … Continue reading Understand?

Nectar.

When the coffee pot sends grounds everywhere and makes a giant mess in the morning and you are too tired to deal with it, McDonald’s comes to the rescue. Seriously. Have to have coffee. I probably don’t need it because it makes me more anxious, but I do require it to function, so there’s that. … Continue reading Nectar.

Much.

It turns out I’m not done with the one class, and I have so much work to do for the other. I’m feeling a little buried. It’s not insurmountable. It’s just a lot. If I work on it today, I should be able to get it done. Yesterday, I had more work to do with … Continue reading Much.

Accommodations.

I met with the disability specialist at my university, (or one of them anyway), to talk to him about the paperwork I submitted to request accommodations at school. It actually went really well. We talked about how living with anxiety makes it very difficult to sit through long classes without needing breaks, and how I … Continue reading Accommodations.