Halfway through!

I’m halfway through my first class! Yay! I’m feeling pretty good about it. We have a test next week and that is scary, but I think I’ll do okay. I just need to make some more flash cards and study the stuff on the study guide. I am doing okay! Whew! I don’t even know …

Dietican was hard today…

I cried through half the appointment. I realized that I got triggered not only by the stupid chair collapsing, but by my professor and his discussion last week. I didn’t even tell one of my friends about the chair collapsing because she is so fat phobic that she wouldn’t understand. She would just blame me. …

Writing and laundry…

I wish my clean laundry looked like that… It’s currently in a pile in front of the washer. It’s clean, though. I mean, at least the stuff I washed is. I need to wash more things, but until I start putting things away, there’s no more room to put the clean laundry. Sigh. I also …

What to do today?

I wrote my paper and got everything ready for class tomorrow. So… I have the rest of the day off. I don’t know what to do with myself. I mean, there are things I could do. But they would really just be time wasters. I also could clean. I hate cleaning. I should probably do …

So mom laughed

I told my mom about breaking the chair at the fair thing (see previous post), and she literally laughed at me. That did not help. I have been really struggling with my body image for, well forever really, but recently it’s been a bigger issue. Hating obese people has come up in class. It was… …

Seriously? How humiliating!

Okay. So. I went to a fair thing in my town to help out a person that I know with her booth. The freaking chair I sat it broke underneath me! Like totally collapsed! It was a hybrid plastic/metal folding chair and it just broke, but seriously? I know I’m fat, but I’m 25lbs lighter …

So I went…

…and the person that I was kind of freaked out about seeing at the meeting was there. It was good though. I got a chance to apologize. I needed to. It was just the right thing to do. So yeah. I don’t know if I’m going to go to them a lot, just because, as …

To go, or not to go…

I just found out that the DBSA chapter closest to me has resumed in person meetings. Part of me wants to go for the fellowship and the “something to do.” Part of me is not not interested in everything that goes on with it. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a great organization. They do great …

Restless as can be

I’m basically just wasting time until it’s time to go to sleep. I’m super restless. It’s clearly because I’m anxious, and I have a feeling I know why, but I’m just tired of this feeling. It’s like bored, but anxious. I hate it. I don’t want to do anything. Nothing is holding my interest. I …

Seriously, #FreeBritney

I have not watched the “Controlling Britney Spears” documentary yet. I have read the NYT article about the security detail that has been in place. Microphones in her bedroom? Cloning her phone? Monitoring conversations with her attorney? Yeah. No. I don’t know if she needs a conservatorship at this point. I really don’t. I am …