I am not someone who enjoys reading over my own medical records. At all. I have had reason, upon occasion, to need to pick up copies of my psychiatrists' records etc and I've not once been tempted to read them. To me that seems like the path of destruction. Even the notes from ten years … Continue reading Records


Day: 4/11

I had a really good talk with a provider today who kind of helped me finish sorting some stuff out- or at least got me further on the path. I volunteered and that was challenging because while I like the activities director, I'm pretty sure her staff who are younger than me are not really … Continue reading Day: 4/11


I am seeing a new psychiatrist today and I'm nervous about the appointment. I slept like crap because I was so anxious. I just don't really know what to expect. First, he's male and my experience with male providers is hit and miss. Sometimes they are awesome and sometimes they are just cold fish who … Continue reading Worried


Sometimes it takes appointments with two providers with two different approaches to get my head on straight. Today was that day. I needed the extra boost I guess. First to remind me that just because I think/feel things doesn't mean that they are real, and second that I make an impact in the world. I … Continue reading Sometimes…


I have therapy this morning, but I don't even know what to tell her. I mean outside of the fact that I'm depressed, obviously. It's just hard to nail down issues. We usually have to isolate "things to work on" because it's CBT and I am having a hard time trying to figure out what … Continue reading Scattered


I have to exercise tons of trust this morning. My case manager and my therapist have to have me in the room while they talk on the phone for whatever reason- I'd honestly prefer that they just have a conversation without me- but the trust piece comes in that this is not a truly humiliating … Continue reading Embarrassed


I can be downright arrogant at times about things that I am pretty sure I know. It is one of my lesser qualities and it continues to cause me problems in my life. One of the most fun things that I've found is that I think that I am Inscrutable, or impossible to get to … Continue reading Hubris


Neither my friend nor I was interested in the available showtimes for the movie we wanted to see that fit after she got out of work. They were all starting after 9pm and it is a longer movie. We are old ladies and neither one of us felt like staying up that late. We couldn't … Continue reading Raincheck