Yay!!!!!

New Years' Eve is here and I am pretty sure I made it the entire year without a psych admission. That may not seem like a huge deal to a bunch of you, but it's a rather large accomplishment for me. I'm thrilled. I'm grateful to my team of providers, my friends and my family …

Where?

Where have I been? Probably three of you have wondered that... I have had a rough patch. I just couldn't really express myself at all. I was having difficulty even describing how I felt beyond miserable, so it didn't really seem productive to be on my blog. I didn't really have anything to write about. …

Porcupine

I feel all "prickly" today like a porcupine. I'm irritable and weird and I'm having a hard time connecting. I feel pretty disassociated from the stuff happening around me. It sucks. I am really struggling. I am trying to figure out what my emotions are and what is going on with me. I don't know …

Guilt

I always feel guilt, (and shame), for reasons I can't usually put my finger on. It's kind of a problem. I am feeling extra-guilty about Christmas and not being as happy and cheerful as I feel like I should have been. I feel like maybe I pushed people and maybe also like I ruined something. …

Pancaked

I feel like I've been flattened like a pancake. Anxiety is through the roof and I am exhausted. Christmas has traditionally been a tough holiday for me to get through. It was better this year, but it was still rough. It's just a combination of all of the people I have to be around and …

Memories…

My mom's "cookie bar." She learned this tradition from my grandmother and it's fantastic. It's set up to entertain guests today, but I'm benefitting greatly from it. I said I was having a relaxing holiday, and I am, but it's triggering some old trauma stuff and I had a breakdown last night. It was rough. …

Eve

Gifting may have gone a bit overboard this year. More like my mom and I may have a shopping problem... In fairness, most of this is a couple of big boxes and a bunch of tiny little things that were more sentimental than anything. Due to shipping errors, a couple of them contained paper that …

Flowers!!!!!!!!

I got these for my recent birthday. I love them. They were a huge surprise. My Dad often sends me flowers on my birthday, but they are usually Christmas themed and I wasn't going to be where he usually sends them for my birthday, so I asked him for something else this year. These daisies …

Strawberry!!

In honor of my birthday, (which is a few days away yet), I made myself strawberry cupcakes because they are my favorite. It's impossible to find strawberry cake, at least around here, so I buy the cake mix where I can find it and make cupcakes. I like decorating them, although this year I went …

Hold!!!!!!!

Oh my gosh! I have been on hold for twenty minutes with Pier 1 trying to resolve some stuff on an online order. Holy cow! Who knows how long I'm going to be sitting here. It would help if I hadn't woken up pretty much already overwhelmed and in tears today. I am clenching my …