Yay!!!!!

New Years' Eve is here and I am pretty sure I made it the entire year without a psych admission. That may not seem like a huge deal to a bunch of you, but it's a rather large accomplishment for me. I'm thrilled. I'm grateful to my team of providers, my friends and my family … Continue reading Yay!!!!!

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Where?

Where have I been? Probably three of you have wondered that... I have had a rough patch. I just couldn't really express myself at all. I was having difficulty even describing how I felt beyond miserable, so it didn't really seem productive to be on my blog. I didn't really have anything to write about. … Continue reading Where?

Porcupine

I feel all "prickly" today like a porcupine. I'm irritable and weird and I'm having a hard time connecting. I feel pretty disassociated from the stuff happening around me. It sucks. I am really struggling. I am trying to figure out what my emotions are and what is going on with me. I don't know … Continue reading Porcupine

Guilt

I always feel guilt, (and shame), for reasons I can't usually put my finger on. It's kind of a problem. I am feeling extra-guilty about Christmas and not being as happy and cheerful as I feel like I should have been. I feel like maybe I pushed people and maybe also like I ruined something. … Continue reading Guilt

Pancaked

I feel like I've been flattened like a pancake. Anxiety is through the roof and I am exhausted. Christmas has traditionally been a tough holiday for me to get through. It was better this year, but it was still rough. It's just a combination of all of the people I have to be around and … Continue reading Pancaked

Memories…

My mom's "cookie bar." She learned this tradition from my grandmother and it's fantastic. It's set up to entertain guests today, but I'm benefitting greatly from it. I said I was having a relaxing holiday, and I am, but it's triggering some old trauma stuff and I had a breakdown last night. It was rough. … Continue reading Memories…

Eve

Gifting may have gone a bit overboard this year. More like my mom and I may have a shopping problem... In fairness, most of this is a couple of big boxes and a bunch of tiny little things that were more sentimental than anything. Due to shipping errors, a couple of them contained paper that … Continue reading Eve

Flowers!!!!!!!!

I got these for my recent birthday. I love them. They were a huge surprise. My Dad often sends me flowers on my birthday, but they are usually Christmas themed and I wasn't going to be where he usually sends them for my birthday, so I asked him for something else this year. These daisies … Continue reading Flowers!!!!!!!!

Strawberry!!

In honor of my birthday, (which is a few days away yet), I made myself strawberry cupcakes because they are my favorite. It's impossible to find strawberry cake, at least around here, so I buy the cake mix where I can find it and make cupcakes. I like decorating them, although this year I went … Continue reading Strawberry!!

Hold!!!!!!!

Oh my gosh! I have been on hold for twenty minutes with Pier 1 trying to resolve some stuff on an online order. Holy cow! Who knows how long I'm going to be sitting here. It would help if I hadn't woken up pretty much already overwhelmed and in tears today. I am clenching my … Continue reading Hold!!!!!!!