Elusive

I’m here. Awake. At almost one o’clock in the morning. Yay. I am not excited about it. I’m really anxious about my appointment with my gastroenterologist in the morning. It’s a virtual appointment, but it’s still an appointment and I don’t know what he’s going to say about me having been in the hospital so …

Win!

I’m kind of happy today. I went and got labs done and I was nervous because my gastroenterologist ordered an A1C test to check and see if I was starting to develop diabetes because of all of my pancreatic issues. Good news! I’m not! I was worried. I put it off until the last possible …

It’s a good day!

I am feeling pretty awesome today! Not manic, just finally not sick and not really in a funk. I showered, shaved my legs, put on a dress, and even blow dried my hair! I am meeting a good friend for lunch and I’ve been looking forward to this lunch for a while. I also have …

Need to find my motivation…

My motivation seems to be about as lacking as the rain has been over the past couple weeks. I guess part of it is that I don’t feel 100% and also that it is, as I’ve said, so darn hot. Just sizzling out there. It just sucks my energy dry as soon as I step …

All of them…

What jobs have you had? Honestly, I have had so many different occupations in my lifetime. Bartender was my favorite, not so much for the serving of alcohol, but for the community and meeting people of all walks of life. I’ve worked customer service in a zillion different kinds of ways from a literal sense …

Giving up fear…

Choosing to clean may look like an weird way to express giving up fear, but hear me out. My bedroom has been a disaster area for a year. At least. For that year, I have been in and out of the hospital more times than I can count with pancreatitis. It’s gotten so bad that …

Over this

Don’t get me wrong, my hospital room has this gorgeous view, but I’m done being here. I’m pretty sure I’m being discharged today, which is fine by me, I just want to go already. I do not know why I am still sitting here. The doctor I’ve had for the last two days was a …

Sending up a prayer

It might seem like a silly thing to pray for, but I’m sending a prayer that I get out of this “purgatory” area of the hospital and get a “real” room. The room I have now is very small and so it is impossible for me to keep the door closed. Unfortunately, that means I …

Sardines

I absolutely do not want to sound ungrateful, because I am just grateful to not have to be taking care of these symptoms by myself anymore, but this unit that they have me in is like packing people in sardine cans. My room is maybe 8x8, has no windows, and a shared bathroom with the …

Feel like crappola

Well, guess who is getting admitted to the hospital again? I feel like hot garbage. I have been trying so hard all week to feel better and nothing has been working. Finally, I just threw in the towel and went to the emergency room. They were nice to me this time and I only had …