Part of my therapy homework was to "draw my monster." I thought it was a particularly cruel assignment since I'm not really into drawing crap at the moment, but whatever. I half-assed this creepy smile because it is the closest thing to what I could call my "monster" at the moment. It would be so … Continue reading Fake



I don't have anything intelligent to say today. I don't even have unintelligent things to say. I probably won't be around much today, or if I am, it will be much later. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ Image from Pixabay


Here's the thing. I'm SUPER upset. For sure. I'm NOT suicidal. If I were, I wouldn't be posting that on my blog, I would be headed for the emergency room and maybe telling you guys about it from there if they let me keep my phone. I am not going to kill myself over 6 … Continue reading Thing


I'm not okay. I'm drowning. The shaking won't stop and I can't seem to get regulated. No one seems to be hearing me. I'm totally stuck and I'm over it. I'm stuck in my stupid situation that there is no foreseeable way out of except to torture myself by doing what everyone else wants. I … Continue reading Drowning


I would like to have one morning that I sleep in. I have lots of mornings where I don't have anything to do until later in the day, but nearly every morning I'm awake by no later than 7:30. This morning I don't have to be anywhere until the afternoon. I woke up into a … Continue reading One


I am akin to that pouting little girl in that picture. I had to have a full scale tantrum today, (again), over this art class. In case anyone isn't clear, I really don't want to go. The instructor is great, it isn't that. It's just me and what my expectations were going in and how … Continue reading Fool


This blog is my refuge. I turn on some music and just write. A lot of the time I don't even have a plan for what is going to end up in my post (apparently a big blogging no-no). It's a product of the mess that is the inside of my head. I don't censor … Continue reading Refuge


I go through stages when I get upset. It generally takes me a couple of hours to wind down. I am angry at first, then crying and shaking, then disappointed and ashamed, and then I finally get rational. It's really challenging for me to make it through these stages sometimes, but it never fails that … Continue reading Stages