Gotta be productive…

I have to do something useful with my day today or I’ll just melt into my bed and disappear. I don’t know what that is yet, but I’m working on it. I just need to do something. I am not good at stewing. My mom was horrifically ill last night so I need to check …

Sleep is hard

It’s 4:30 a.m., and yet again, I’m still awake. I kind of give up on a regular sleep schedule. It’s just all kinds of messed up. I don’t really know how to fix it. I’m just irritated with myself. I took my meds at 10:30. They make me tired, but not sleepy enough. I am …

Big fail

Today was my oldest friend’s daughter’s graduation party. I should have been there. I was worried about the crowd, but I mean, I planned on being there. I wasn’t going to not go because of it. I would do almost anything for this friend. I am mortified that I couldn’t be there for this party. …

Here AGAIN

I feel awful. I’m so dehydrated. I’m not positive what’s wrong, but I’ve been struggling with things running straight through me for a month really. I think it’s been ever since I started the new med. It actually had improved a little for about a week, but then we increased the dose. Literally, I was …

So sad today

I just want to stay in bed. I watched church online today because it’s hot outside, (church is outside right now), and because I couldn’t make myself get up and out of bed. I am dreading this graduation party I have to go to later today. I’m thrilled for my friend’s daughter who is very …

Groggy and headachy

I feel like I’m in a fog. I’m not certain I’m enjoying the bump in my meds. I couldn’t get to sleep again last night, I had to run to the bathroom like four or five times in the middle of the night after I ate, and after I finally fell asleep, I woke up …

Time keeps on slipping

So I took the new dose of the new(er) med. It’s almost 4am and I’m still awake. I’m tired, but not sleeping. My brain is buzzing. I’m also starving for some reason. Which sucks. That could be the med or it could be that I didn’t eat enough during the day. I thought I did, …

More meds

I saw my psych prescriber this morning. We decided to increase the dose of the newer (to me) one. I really hope this helps knock me out at night. I’m over being awake for hours and staring at my phone. I’m over feeling restless and agitated. So… hopefully it helps. She’s worried about side effects, …

Waking up early

The early bird gets the worm? Not sure that applies here. I never need to set an alarm anymore because I’m always awake way before I need to get up. I guess in some ways, that’s a blessing because I have lots of time in the morning to mess around and do things before I …

Skin crawling

I am so restless. I have been for days really, but I haven’t had the energy to do anything about it really until today. So now, I’m feeling like my skin is crawling off and I can’t decide what to do. I should play with my art supplies and try to make something pretty, (or …