Tightrope

I won't lie that I am not even attempting to strike a balance in my new relationship right now. The person I am with is temporarily available for a short period of time and so I am trying to take advantage of that as much as possible. Pretty soon we are going to have to …

Relief and Relationships

I had a good night last night. It was super stressful and I wasn't sure how it was going to turn out, but I shouldn't have worried. It worked out beautifully. I couldn't have asked for a better outcome. I have amazing relationships with my friends. I'm very lucky. I also have a new and …

Radio

I know it's been radio silence on my blog. I apologize. I've had a lot of stuff going on and I haven't been sure how to share all of it yet. I'm not even sure it all belongs here. I may have an update after group tonight, we'll see. It depends on how it goes. …

Sleepless

My sleep schedule has been all kinds of messed up lately. I'm not manic, I'm tired, I'm just not really catching enough hours. I don't really mind all that much, but I can tell that it is playing a role in some of my mood stuff. I'm a little more insecure than usual. I cry …

Jericho

I have written about my walls before. I generally keep myself locked away in a tower surrounded by high walls and many fortifications. I don't often let people inside. It's hard for me to trust, and even harder to feel safe with being vulnerable. I have been learning to lower my walls though with the …

100!!

I have officially hit a 100lb weight loss. It's kind of a big deal. I wish I could tell you it was enough to make me happy, but it's not. It's a giant step in the right direction though, and I'm trying to celebrate it as a milestone. Here's my celebratory picture: I am still …

Happy

I have been largely absent from my blog lately because I haven't known what to say. I am happy for once. It has been a long time. I am also terrified. I am not used to happiness. It comes with potential pitfalls and feeling like the bottom might drop at any time. I am not …

Crazy

I feel "crazy" tonight. I hate that word, but I feel just a little out of sorts. I shouldn't. Things in my life are amazing. I am stuck on some stupid little things and I can't snap out of this funk today. I've cried more times today than I want to admit. I have spent …

Sharing

My therapy appointment today was awesome. I was able to share some things and my therapist finally took some of her own walls down. I finally feel like we have started to connect. It's such a relief. It was stressful to go through what I did with her, but it seems like it was worth …

Homework

I feel sort of bad because I have therapy and case management today and I have not really done my homework for either. Bad, I know. I was on vacay and then I've been pretty busy trying to unpack and do things for this project with my friend, so I just haven't had time. I …