Patience

I am not patient. This is part of my trust issue. I really hate this situation with my psychiatric prescriber and the fact that I don’t really have one that can handle my mess at the moment.

I have trialed and failed on 28 different medications now over the years due to various reasons, but most have been ER visits due to bad reactions. Some have been admits to medical units or psych units.

I really need a prescriber who can think outside of the box and has creative solutions to my problems. Right now, I don’t have that. My psychiatrist suddenly retiring was kind of the end of the world.

I know people are working on this issue for me. I know that they are. I should trust that process. I’m trying SUPER hard to do that.

I’m failing.

I just want to call around and find someone tomorrow.

Anyone.

I know of at least one competent doctor that I’ve worked with on an inpatient basis that I trust. I don’t trust anyone, so I think he would be a good fit. He’s just outside of the little network that I am in now and so it is kind of difficult for my other providers to coordinate. I don’t know that his office is taking new patients either.

I just hate waiting. Hate it. This part of my life being unresolved sucks since I count on it so much. Clearly too much.

Sigh.

I wish “crazy” wasn’t so damn hard.

Image from Pixabay.