Elusive

I’m here. Awake. At almost one o’clock in the morning. Yay. I am not excited about it. I’m really anxious about my appointment with my gastroenterologist in the morning. It’s a virtual appointment, but it’s still an appointment and I don’t know what he’s going to say about me having been in the hospital so …

It’s a good day!

I am feeling pretty awesome today! Not manic, just finally not sick and not really in a funk. I showered, shaved my legs, put on a dress, and even blow dried my hair! I am meeting a good friend for lunch and I’ve been looking forward to this lunch for a while. I also have …

Boogeymen

What fears have you overcome and how? This is a picture I posted on my blog back in 2017. It shows where someone dig into the window casement and pried the window open. I was sooo freaked out (they ran away when I came back into the room). Anyway, I had been afraid of people …

Need to find my motivation…

My motivation seems to be about as lacking as the rain has been over the past couple weeks. I guess part of it is that I don’t feel 100% and also that it is, as I’ve said, so darn hot. Just sizzling out there. It just sucks my energy dry as soon as I step …

Therapy today!

I essentially missed therapy last week since I was in the hospital. I mean, I made contact with her, but I was on meds and just trying to negotiate with doctors and things, (and was pretty angry with everything going on), so I didn’t really talk to her long. I really need therapy today. I’m …

Hot streak

It’s 89° here today. It was the same yesterday and and the day before. It’s supposed to be hot again tomorrow (that’s like 32°C for the rest of you). Anyway, I’m tired it. We have air conditioning at home, but it is really too hot to go anywhere and something about the barometric pressure when …

All of them…

What jobs have you had? Honestly, I have had so many different occupations in my lifetime. Bartender was my favorite, not so much for the serving of alcohol, but for the community and meeting people of all walks of life. I’ve worked customer service in a zillion different kinds of ways from a literal sense …

Giving up fear…

Choosing to clean may look like an weird way to express giving up fear, but hear me out. My bedroom has been a disaster area for a year. At least. For that year, I have been in and out of the hospital more times than I can count with pancreatitis. It’s gotten so bad that …

Sending up a prayer

It might seem like a silly thing to pray for, but I’m sending a prayer that I get out of this “purgatory” area of the hospital and get a “real” room. The room I have now is very small and so it is impossible for me to keep the door closed. Unfortunately, that means I …

Sardines

I absolutely do not want to sound ungrateful, because I am just grateful to not have to be taking care of these symptoms by myself anymore, but this unit that they have me in is like packing people in sardine cans. My room is maybe 8x8, has no windows, and a shared bathroom with the …