I am up and at ‘em! I got my coffee and got my bathroom clean enough for the housekeeping company to come (my mom makes me clean it before they come because she just wants them to scrub the stuff, not have to pick it up). I have Christmas presents to wrap and things to … Continue reading I’m awake!
I’m not sure which I’m more excited about honestly. I mean, this girl loves some holiday shopping, but I’m also really grateful to have my dietican and doctor’s appointments today. I am not sure what I’m buying while I’m holiday shopping, so that’s kind of a problem. I know sort of who I need to … Continue reading Day full of appointments and… shopping!!
I would show you an actual picture of mine, but frankly, it was not anywhere near as pretty as this one. Ha! Trigger warning ⚠️ eating disorder content!! ⚠️ ⚠️ ⚠️ ⚠️ I mixed nonfat Greek yogurt, skim milk (I used to do almond milk when I was in the throes of my ED, but … Continue reading Smoothies!
It’s a day like any other I guess. The only real difference is I’m laying here crying and afraid. I don’t know what I’m going to do about this pancreatitis thing. I’m terrified. I literally can’t eat without being in pain and sometimes being in pain so bad that I just can’t take it. I … Continue reading Just a day
We had salmon, potatoes and green beans. It was okay, but I’m still just frustrated that I have to take these enzymes all through my meals. I can’t tell that they are making any difference at all, and the side effects are unpleasant. I am constantly in pain now. It doesn’t matter how much I … Continue reading I made it through dinner
Okay. So. I’ve been sick for two months pretty much. I’m tired. It’s played out. I know I’m supposed to be the “good little soldier” and no one likes to see sick people complain. WELL GUESS WHAT? I’m complaining. I have this STUPID med that I have to take throughout every meal that tastes awful … Continue reading Kind of having a bad day
I am a little overwhelmed by how many times I’ve been in the hospital. Really. It feels like I’ve spent the last two months in there. I’m also worried about a friend who’s going through testing to see if they have pancreatic cancer. This person is not even 40 yet. It’s super scary. I am … Continue reading Thank goodness I have therapy today…
I cleaned part of my room today. I didn’t get a lot done, but I got a little done and that’s more than none. I am absolutely exhausted now though. I am so tired. I know I’m so tired because I just got out of the hospital yesterday, but I am frustrated. I just want … Continue reading Exhausted at 2:30
An experience from this year: I had some really profound moments in therapy this year. I figured out some things about myself that led to new directions and new goals. I am pretty grateful for the opportunity to go to therapy and for my therapist, who has helped me sort out a lot of difficult … Continue reading The 30th…
Hospital socks, an iv and a bracelet… where could I be?? That’s right! The emergency room! Waiting for the hospitalalist team to come admit me. I feel disgusting. Mom is blaming it on me and “eating too much thanksgiving.” I’m trying SO HARD for that not to be an eating disorder trigger. SO HARD. Also, … Continue reading It just keeps getting more interesting…