Guilt

I always feel guilt, (and shame), for reasons I can’t usually put my finger on.

It’s kind of a problem.

I am feeling extra-guilty about Christmas and not being as happy and cheerful as I feel like I should have been. I feel like maybe I pushed people and maybe also like I ruined something. I don’t know. Maybe I didn’t. I just feel bad.

I am sick of stupid things being a trigger for me. Someone told me, “you are angry at everyone.” I’m not sure that’s fair, but maybe it is. I have a lot of stuff that I haven’t been able to move past in my life that burned indelible marks into my soul. Maybe that’s still being angry. I’m not even sure anymore.

I do know I feel bad that this person sees me that way. I feel bad that is the image I project.

I am having a hard time with this one. I’ll be honest…

I kind of hate me right now.

Image from Pixabay.

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