Unwell

Guys, I'm still sick...or I'm sick again. Something isn't right. I'm not sure what's exactly wrong. All I know is I couldn't stay awake yesterday to save my life. I felt woozy and weird and just out of sorts. I had a headache in the morning and then I just felt awful. I don't know … Continue reading Unwell

Journaling 📓

I really should be putting this is in a journal, but it's easier for me to write here and I don't have any secrets to keep from you. I already wrote about that weight loss appointment today and how I should've brought a support person with me. It was definitely hard to go by myself … Continue reading Journaling 📓

Should’ve

I have this appointment with the bariatric weight loss people for medical weight loss management, (not surgery), and I should've brought a friend. Waiting here totally sucks. I keep reminding myself that I am NOT a "mental patient" and that I am NOT broken. I CAN do this. Anxiety about an appointment like this is … Continue reading Should’ve

Breaks

I cancelled physical therapy for my shoulder both times this week. I had other appointments that were more important and I was overwhelmed. I decided I needed a mental health break. If I'm honest, the pt isn't really helping that much anyway. I am trying not to be too frustrated by the pain in my … Continue reading Breaks

Sigh….

The cracks are starting to show. Depression is starting to kick my butt again. I went to the ortho doc on Friday and he told me basically that he couldn't do anything about my knee because, despite the fact that I have a torn meniscus, it's too far gone and I just need to lose … Continue reading Sigh….

Weighty

I have gained 60 lbs back out of the 100 lbs I lost since last summer. I know I didn't lose weight in a healthy way last summer, but I'm really struggling with the weight I'm at. I don't know where the balance is. I don't know how to eat healthy and not over do … Continue reading Weighty

Ouch!

My stupid knee is acting up again. It did this last spring and I failed at going to physical therapy for it. I know I should go. It would probably help. Actually, it would definitely help, but twice a week for however long is a major commitment and I suck at having that many commitments. … Continue reading Ouch!

Smoothies!!

I know this looks gross. I do. It's because it contains a lot of spinach. It's one of the best ways for me to get iron because I don't like to eat red meat when I'm trying to be healthier. Maybe that's a contradiction, but I'm trying to supplement. This smoothie had frozen peaches, frozen … Continue reading Smoothies!!

Wagon

I'm climbing back on the "healthy" wagon one step at a time. I'm trying not to overdo the restrictive eating thing like I did last year, but I really want to get this weight that I gained back off. I'm sure there's a healthier way to do it and I'm going to try to shoot … Continue reading Wagon

Old

Trigger Warning ⚠️ ⚠️ ⚠️ ⚠️ ⚠️ ⚠️ A friend and I ordered pizza yesterday like we do occasionally when we hang out and don't feel like cooking. No big. Except for some reason this time it was a big deal. Since last fall my eating disorder has pretty much been in remission. I stopped … Continue reading Old