When I went shopping earlier this week I bought a pair of jeans that were a size smaller than the ones I had been wearing, (actually in some cases two sizes!!) and today is the first day I’ve worn them. My mom said I “looked good” and I do feel better in them. I was … Continue reading I am wearing my skinni(er) jeans!
I went shopping mostly to see how a smaller pair of jeans would fit because I lost some weight while I was sick and I lost a whole size! I am pretty excited. The jeans I have on today are sagging off my rear end and trying to fall off, so a new pair was … Continue reading Dropped a size!
I’m not sure what’s going on. I’m literally like vibrating with anxiety today. I am about to leave my house to go shopping or something just to get the heck out of here. I would take myself to lunch, but I’m not hungry, and it’s way too early in the day for me to eat … Continue reading So anxious I can’t sit still
I used to love shopping for my Easter dress. It HAD to involve a hat and gloves as well. I was such a silly little princess. Anyway, I’ve moved on in my life from Easter being about the clothes to Easter being about the EVENT. At the same time, my goodness! I am planning on … Continue reading Throwback to easier days
I tried to eat solid food for the first time since Wednesday morning. Oops!!!!! This particular experiment failed. I just cannot tolerate them as of yet. It’s going to be a problem down the road. I’m seriously frustrated with the word “diabetes” that keeps getting tossed around. Apparently, every time my pancreas acts up it … Continue reading Experiments with jello!
I met with my dietican today and she and I discussed logging my food again. I think I need the accountability because I’m sort of willy-nilly with my eating lately and I’ve gained a lot of weight and I feel really gross. She does not want me to look at it like that of course, … Continue reading Back to food logging
Trigger warning ⚠️ ⚠️ ⚠️ ⚠️ Last week, my professor spent time in class talking about a colleague who had to “overcome” his issues with dealing with “fat people.” It was awesome. This week, we had to discuss all of the various aspects of wellness, and we spent an inordinate amount of time on physical … Continue reading I feel absolutely gross
I cried through half the appointment. I realized that I got triggered not only by the stupid chair collapsing, but by my professor and his discussion last week. I didn’t even tell one of my friends about the chair collapsing because she is so fat phobic that she wouldn’t understand. She would just blame me. … Continue reading Dietican was hard today…
I told my mom about breaking the chair at the fair thing (see previous post), and she literally laughed at me. That did not help. I have been really struggling with my body image for, well forever really, but recently it’s been a bigger issue. Hating obese people has come up in class. It was… … Continue reading So mom laughed
I seriously couldn’t stand it. I needed comfort food. I ate ice cream for dinner. I have been eating like total crap since Thursday. I am terrified to weigh myself. I have no idea how much weight I’ve gained. I guess it doesn’t matter in the end. I had to cope somehow. I wouldn’t have … Continue reading I scream you scream