Crazy, sick or both?

I finally got out of the hospital on Sunday. I still feel not so good. I’m just really tired now and my legs are inexplicably like lead and jelly at the same time. I actually didn’t notice that in the hospital when I was walking around my room. Now I notice it. I don’t know. … Continue reading Crazy, sick or both?

So worried about today

I have so many things in the fire right now. I am going to volunteer in just over an hour and I’m pretty tired so I’m worried about how I’m going to do at the desk today. I don’t want to appear to be so blonde I can’t do it. I am also “on alert” … Continue reading So worried about today

Unfinished poem

Sitting on my bed Ghosts dancing in my head Talking to the shadows on the floor And the monsters opposite the door. The fire raging in my brain Dreams going down the drain Sadness overtakes me And I can no longer see. Through the fog of depression And walls of oppression The stars are occluded … Continue reading Unfinished poem

Too broken to help

I hate the saying, “broken crayons still color.” Sometimes they don’t. Sometimes they are just broken. Sometimes they are covered in all the colors around them that they are rendered useless. I don’t know. I am broken. I feel like such a fraud applying to this graduate program. Like… I don’t know how I am … Continue reading Too broken to help

Fractured heart

A fractured heart pulled apart by a broken mind and I want a sign that it’ll be okay. Crying everyday. Wishing it away. Knowing it’s a part of having a heart and living this way. One day the stars will heal these scars and I’ll be whole with a complete soul and these cracks will … Continue reading Fractured heart

I am depressed

This is what it looks like. I’m literally too embarrassed to show pictures of my floor. I am feeling defeated and like this depression is endless. It’s been going on for so long. It’s the middle of summer and I don’t feel better. I don’t know why. We had to discontinue the newer med that … Continue reading I am depressed

breakdown

Maybe you’ll see it’s not about me and all that I do has always been you. Crying all night tired of the fight Tears made of blood We’re stuck in the mud. And honey I’d tear down every wall Unlock every chain and Fight every man in this small town But, baby I fear we’re … Continue reading breakdown