Finally home

I am finally home from the hospital. After all of that, they still don’t know what happened or why I got so sick. They kind of chalk it up to pancreatitis, but they don’t really know. It’s super annoying. Regardless, I still feel like crap, but I’m home feeling that way instead of laying in …

I finally see the light…

I have been in the hospital since last Saturday night. I’m so over it. After talking with the doctor today, I finally see hope though. I mean, I think I will probably be going home tomorrow or Sunday. This makes me very happy. I suspect I won’t be doing much when I go home besides …

Seriously though???!!!!

Yeah that is an IV in my arm. I have pancreatitis again. I am so mad. I am in the hospital again, and so frustrated. I don’t know what is kicking this off. Avoid stuff kids. Photo by me.

So overwhelmed

I have so many things to do and so many directions to go in, I am just simply overwhelmed. I don’t know if I am coming or going. I need to clean my room. I am trying to help my friend who is being evicted. I’m trying to stay social. I am trying to be …

Stability is fragile

I realized that part of the reason I’m so upset about my friend getting evicted, besides the obvious, is that I’m not in the most stable of situations myself. I mean, so if something happens to my parents, I am essentially homeless. Not a good feeling. So yeah. I think I might start putting my …

Not numb, just scared

I have no idea what I want to be when I “grow up.” I’m having a mid life crisis. I just feel lost. I thought I wanted to be a social worker or counselor, but I think that is too close to home or just something that I couldn’t do well so I don’t think …

Stressed?

Trigger warning ⚠️ mentions suicide ⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️ Okay. So. I’m talking to my ex tonight, (something I do almost every single day because this person and I are still very close friends in spite of everything), and this person tells me that I “don’t know about being stressed.” EXCUSE ME?? Like quasi-living with an alleged cancer …

Broken system

The mental health system is seriously messed up. I know this is not news to anyone anywhere, but I just have to rant for a second. First, let me be clear and say that I am incredibly blessed to have a great psych provider, a great therapist, and parents who help me access a wonderful …

Starting over…

This is a meme from Facebook, but it seems especially relevant to me and several people in my life right now. I need to figure out what I am going to do with myself. I’m thinking about doing something else with my life than what I had planned for the last ten years. I thought …

So stressed…

I’m so stressed I’m stress eating. This is from the other day, but I ate a large strawberry frosty from Wendy’s. Seriously. Now, the thing was amazing, but that’s kind of not the point. I’m trying to lose weight, not gain it. Stress eating is not my best look. I just can’t cope with trying …