I confess that there are days that I just don't want to be "mentally ill" anymore. I mean, I know that sounds a bit strange. Who wants this really, but I mean that in a real and true way. I just get tired of all of the trappings that come with living with bipolar disorder. … Continue reading Confession


Okay, I know I complained about the -40°F temps, but now it's super hot. Now that I have hit menopause early I'm even more heat intolerant than I was before. Add that to the psych meds and I'm just a mess. Someone bring me a fan!!!!!! Seriously. I have air conditioning where I am and … Continue reading Wave


I just don't feel like myself. I feel like I'm a picture out of focus. I have been groggy and sleepy the last few days. It's hard for me to sort out what is from depression, menopause, or from the after effects of the stupid allergic reaction and the steroids. Steroids used to make me … Continue reading Myself

Update: New

I tried the new sleep med. I woke up easily five times. Fail. What sucked the most was that when I woke up, I was groggy and unable to be fully awake, but unable to really sleep well either. It took almost two hours to fall asleep as well and it is supposed to be … Continue reading Update: New


I'm starting a new sleep med tonight and I'm trying not to freak out about it. I hate trying new meds. I was so nervous about the new antidepressant I started a few weeks ago that I think I actually gave myself a little rash on my wrist for the first day, (it went away … Continue reading New


I totally have "med head" from my med increases this morning. I cannot wake up. I am pretty sure it's the antidepressant and not the antipsychotic because I've been on an increased dose of the antipsychotic before and it didn't do this. The first night of the antidepressant was like this and now that I'm … Continue reading Head…


I saw my psych today. She made big changes to my med regime. We upped my antipsychotic a little, increased my antidepressant, switched around and added anxiety meds and left my mood stabilizer alone. Whew! I really can't do anything with my mood stabilizer because any more topamax makes me hunt for words and I've … Continue reading Adjustment


...hours of sleep. That's how long I slept yesterday and last night. I was sooo tired and overwhelmed. I woke up to a beautiful day with sunshine and near 70. I went for a .75 mile walk today, (which was nice), and had a healthy breakfast and lunch. I am still pretty anxious, and I'm … Continue reading 16…


Doh! I totally forgot to take my meds last night. I hate when I do that. I am super anxious this morning especially because part of those include my anxiety and blood pressure medications. Dumb! I feel like a space cadet. I don't usually miss them, and now was not a good time to do … Continue reading Missing