Stupid month!

Due to a bunch of bureaucratic crap and the fact that my therapist’s office is merging with the local community mental health agency, (something that I am just thrilled about), I don’t get to see my therapist for three more weeks. I’m lucky I get to see her at all really. It could have ended …

Med review today

I see my psych soon and I have things I really need to discuss with her. First on the list is changing my prescriptions from weekly pickups back to regular monthly pickups. Four or five months ago when I was not well, I guess it made sense, although I would never hurt myself with something …

New meds and trying

My psych added a new antidepressant to my cocktail of meds yesterday. I am hopeful that the med will help lift me up out of the constant state of low level depression I seem to be in. It’s kind of like I’m under water but I can see the surface and just can’t break through. …

More meds

I saw my psych prescriber this morning. We decided to increase the dose of the newer (to me) one. I really hope this helps knock me out at night. I’m over being awake for hours and staring at my phone. I’m over feeling restless and agitated. So… hopefully it helps. She’s worried about side effects, …

Waking up early

The early bird gets the worm? Not sure that applies here. I never need to set an alarm anymore because I’m always awake way before I need to get up. I guess in some ways, that’s a blessing because I have lots of time in the morning to mess around and do things before I …

Another med review

I’m always a little nervous on med review days. I mean, I don’t really know why. My psych is amazing. So caring and considerate. She intimidates me a little I think because she is so smart, but I mean, that’s why I see her so... I am just going to lay my cards on the …

Started new med

I started a new antipsychotic last night (I got it when I saw my psych on Tuesday, but she said not to start it until last night). I feel... stoned. Granted, I didn’t take my meds until very late last night. At least that, and a dry mouth, are all I really notice. I could …

Went to ER

Tw: suicidal ideation Soooo... I went to the emergency room this evening because I couldn’t take it anymore. The doctors were super nice. The hospital social worker was really nice. Get to the emergency mental health worker- who is also nice, but didn’t listen to me at all. She actually said the words “ACT team” …

Trying to decide

I’m weighing out how helpful the crisis team actually is. They are super into DBT and “coaching,” which is not really what I need at this point. If that’s what I needed I would be able to function with just the DBT program I had going. I needed something else. I’m not sure they are …

Red solo cup

Tw: for all kinds of stuff. I filled a solo cup 3/4 of the way full of vodka (minus the ice). It sounds like a terrible idea, but it’s actually harm reduction compared to what I was going to do. I was at the store, but I left and went home. It seemed like a …