Messed up

My friend is getting evicted from her apartment. Let me tell you why this is crap. Did she technically violate the terms of her lease? Absolutely. The thing is, she doesn’t always understand things and she doesn’t always know what’s going on with people. So, did she knowingly violate her lease? I mean, probably not. …

Broken system

The mental health system is seriously messed up. I know this is not news to anyone anywhere, but I just have to rant for a second. First, let me be clear and say that I am incredibly blessed to have a great psych provider, a great therapist, and parents who help me access a wonderful …

Crash and burn

What goes up, must come down. My fun hypomanic episode has come to an end. It had to of course, but I’m seriously bummed. I hate depression. The hopelessness and the feeling that it’s never going to end, even though I know realistically that it will. I’m just tired of the ride. People say that …

Therapy was so helpful today

I am so glad I had therapy today. I talked to her about being in the hospital and how I basically just disassociated to survive being in there. She was glad I got out when I did because she agreed with me that I probably would have just gotten worse had I stayed in there. …

Diagnosis: Mixed

I just realized today that the psychiatrist at the hospital diagnosed me as being in a severe mixed episode without psychotic features. Seriously. That man does not know what a mixed episode looks like I promise. I am not mixed. I know when I am mixed. I am absolutely miserable when I am that way …

What a goat rodeo…

Okay, some of you may have noticed my blog went dark on Friday. I went inpatient for my eating disorder. Ostensibly. Unfortunately, because of the way the system works, (or doesn’t), I got placed on a psych ward and didn’t see a dietician until today. I also didn’t see a case manager until today. I …

Broken stuff

If I had private insurance or a slew of money, I could get care right now for this eating disorder no questions asked. Instead, I have to jump through a zillion hoops and still probably not get help, or be so sick that I will likely be too sick. It’s really stupid. I’m not really …

I have the best providers…

…because they are so patient with me and don’t fire me even when I am a total idiot. I saw my dietican today and she is literally the nicest person. I really like her. My therapist is also a sweetheart. Even my psych is a nice person and genuinely cares about me, even when I …

Questionable today…

I woke up tired. I hate that. I had dreams all night long because I’m really anxious about therapy today. Not only do I have to eat something triggering with her, I also have to talk to her about how I am afraid to call coaching now. I know one of her staff from a …

New shirt!!

I got my new shirt in the mail yesterday! I love it! I have a feeling it’s going to be on rotation a lot during mental health awareness month. I just really liked the colors, (and the message obviously). Gotta celebrate the good things, even when I’m not feeling so great. Right?