Crash and burn

What goes up, must come down. My fun hypomanic episode has come to an end. It had to of course, but I’m seriously bummed. I hate depression. The hopelessness and the feeling that it’s never going to end, even though I know realistically that it will. I’m just tired of the ride. People say that …

Therapy was so helpful today

I am so glad I had therapy today. I talked to her about being in the hospital and how I basically just disassociated to survive being in there. She was glad I got out when I did because she agreed with me that I probably would have just gotten worse had I stayed in there. …

Diagnosis: Mixed

I just realized today that the psychiatrist at the hospital diagnosed me as being in a severe mixed episode without psychotic features. Seriously. That man does not know what a mixed episode looks like I promise. I am not mixed. I know when I am mixed. I am absolutely miserable when I am that way …

What a goat rodeo…

Okay, some of you may have noticed my blog went dark on Friday. I went inpatient for my eating disorder. Ostensibly. Unfortunately, because of the way the system works, (or doesn’t), I got placed on a psych ward and didn’t see a dietician until today. I also didn’t see a case manager until today. I …

Broken stuff

If I had private insurance or a slew of money, I could get care right now for this eating disorder no questions asked. Instead, I have to jump through a zillion hoops and still probably not get help, or be so sick that I will likely be too sick. It’s really stupid. I’m not really …

I have the best providers…

…because they are so patient with me and don’t fire me even when I am a total idiot. I saw my dietican today and she is literally the nicest person. I really like her. My therapist is also a sweetheart. Even my psych is a nice person and genuinely cares about me, even when I …

Questionable today…

I woke up tired. I hate that. I had dreams all night long because I’m really anxious about therapy today. Not only do I have to eat something triggering with her, I also have to talk to her about how I am afraid to call coaching now. I know one of her staff from a …

New shirt!!

I got my new shirt in the mail yesterday! I love it! I have a feeling it’s going to be on rotation a lot during mental health awareness month. I just really liked the colors, (and the message obviously). Gotta celebrate the good things, even when I’m not feeling so great. Right?

Stupid month!

Due to a bunch of bureaucratic crap and the fact that my therapist’s office is merging with the local community mental health agency, (something that I am just thrilled about), I don’t get to see my therapist for three more weeks. I’m lucky I get to see her at all really. It could have ended …

Med review today

I see my psych soon and I have things I really need to discuss with her. First on the list is changing my prescriptions from weekly pickups back to regular monthly pickups. Four or five months ago when I was not well, I guess it made sense, although I would never hurt myself with something …