Crash and burn

What goes up, must come down. My fun hypomanic episode has come to an end. It had to of course, but I’m seriously bummed. I hate depression. The hopelessness and the feeling that it’s never going to end, even though I know realistically that it will. I’m just tired of the ride. People say that … Continue reading Crash and burn

Experiments with jello!

I tried to eat solid food for the first time since Wednesday morning. Oops!!!!! This particular experiment failed. I just cannot tolerate them as of yet. It’s going to be a problem down the road. I’m seriously frustrated with the word “diabetes” that keeps getting tossed around. Apparently, every time my pancreas acts up it … Continue reading Experiments with jello!

Went to ER

Tw: suicidal ideation Soooo... I went to the emergency room this evening because I couldn’t take it anymore. The doctors were super nice. The hospital social worker was really nice. Get to the emergency mental health worker- who is also nice, but didn’t listen to me at all. She actually said the words “ACT team” … Continue reading Went to ER

Downshift.

This wasn't exactly me today, but I did sleep most of the day. I have had a wicked migraine all day. I don't know if it's stress, anxiety, or just the weather changing, but I feel kind of terrible. I get all sorts of odd symptoms such as half of my face going numb, increased … Continue reading Downshift.

Day 17

Are we ever going to return to "normal?" Is life ever going to look the same? I'm starting to think not. I don't know how to begin to grieve that. I'm really sad this morning. Yesterday was a tough day for a multitude of reasons. I need to shower. I need to run to the … Continue reading Day 17

Day 13

Spring is here. I'm supposed to be out walking three times a day to help with my anxiety. HA! I haven't even taken a shower since Tuesday. I need to do that today. I have to. I feel like I can't. I don't want to go walking. I don't want to leave my bed. I … Continue reading Day 13

Hope.

Hope is a fickle thing. At least for me. I actually drew this when I was just coming out of a pretty bad episode a few years ago. I was just starting to feel hopeful about my future again. I don't know how to describe how I feel now except desperate. It's different than it … Continue reading Hope.

Day 7

Apparently we are locked down until the end of April now. Fantastic. I struggled really hard yesterday with self harm ideation. I mean, I haven't really ever had it be that bad or that intense before and not really since my teen years so it was kind of an awful and terrible byproduct of everything … Continue reading Day 7