Elusive

I’m here. Awake. At almost one o’clock in the morning. Yay. I am not excited about it. I’m really anxious about my appointment with my gastroenterologist in the morning. It’s a virtual appointment, but it’s still an appointment and I don’t know what he’s going to say about me having been in the hospital so …

Win!

I’m kind of happy today. I went and got labs done and I was nervous because my gastroenterologist ordered an A1C test to check and see if I was starting to develop diabetes because of all of my pancreatic issues. Good news! I’m not! I was worried. I put it off until the last possible …

All of them…

What jobs have you had? Honestly, I have had so many different occupations in my lifetime. Bartender was my favorite, not so much for the serving of alcohol, but for the community and meeting people of all walks of life. I’ve worked customer service in a zillion different kinds of ways from a literal sense …

Giving up fear…

Choosing to clean may look like an weird way to express giving up fear, but hear me out. My bedroom has been a disaster area for a year. At least. For that year, I have been in and out of the hospital more times than I can count with pancreatitis. It’s gotten so bad that …

Sending up a prayer

It might seem like a silly thing to pray for, but I’m sending a prayer that I get out of this “purgatory” area of the hospital and get a “real” room. The room I have now is very small and so it is impossible for me to keep the door closed. Unfortunately, that means I …

Sardines

I absolutely do not want to sound ungrateful, because I am just grateful to not have to be taking care of these symptoms by myself anymore, but this unit that they have me in is like packing people in sardine cans. My room is maybe 8x8, has no windows, and a shared bathroom with the …

Feel like crappola

Well, guess who is getting admitted to the hospital again? I feel like hot garbage. I have been trying so hard all week to feel better and nothing has been working. Finally, I just threw in the towel and went to the emergency room. They were nice to me this time and I only had …

Stuck

I ate some spaghetti last night for dinner. Not very much, and it was mostly noodles and sauce. Anyway, I was nauseated all night long and just felt terrible. It was the first time I deviated from my “bananas, toast, jello and cereal” diet in several days. I guess my stomach wasn’t ready. I ate …

Need motivation

I have been living on bananas and Honey Nut Cheerios without milk. I have no energy and I feel awful. I desperately need a shower and to do some self care things that have been lacking. Maybe paint my nails or something. I just feel yucky. My lovely friend who lives in North Carolina sent …

Trying…

I have been crying all morning. I have no idea how to manage pancreatitis at home. I woke up dry heaving and feeling terrible. I don’t feel terrible “enough” to go back to the emergency room I guess, but I feel pretty awful. I am freezing, but I don’t have a fever. I am running …