As good as it gets?

I had a friend ask me, “what if this is as good as your life gets?” I had a visceral reaction to that question. I got really upset. I want more from my life than the quasi-survival existence I have now. Maybe that is selfish. I don’t know. It could be unrealistic as well. I …

Priorities in therapy today

I have so much to cover in therapy today, and only an hour to do it in. I need to talk about how traumatic my experience being sick for three weeks in the hospital was. It kind of was awful. I need to talk to her about how I’m invalidating myself and now shelving my …

IVs and CTs, and Labs, Oh My!

I had to get another ct scan this morning. I am exhausted and tired of being in the hospital. I really just want the pain and nausea to stop. My ct scan shows gastritis. Woo hoo. That is not really a problem worthy of a hospital stay, or worthy of my symptoms I don’t think, …

I look crazy…

My ct scan came back normal. I am apparently not sick. Or I am, but my body doesn’t want to cooperate right now. I don’t know. Either way, I look crazy. I hate that word but I’m sure someone is applying it to me right now. I hate this. I was convinced they would find …

Still here…

It’s Saturday and I’m still in the hospital. I am still on a clear liquid diet as well. Haven’t really progressed very far. I did get into the shower today though because it had been a week, so yay for that. My hospital room has two windows so it’s very nice and I am blessed …

Waiting at the salon…

I had to wait at the salon for my friend who does my hair. She had some issues with her kid which is totally understandable so I was happy to wait. I got my hair trimmed and it’s a little shorter than I thought it would be, but still very long. I am happy with …

Okay, so call me weird

I’m actually looking forward to my very busy day. I know that vacuuming the church is an act of service that I’m blessed to be healthy enough to be able to complete. I wasn’t last week. Thank God I am this week. I am so excited to see my friend for lunch. Then I have …

Tomorrow is the day of stupid…

I have four obligations tomorrow, and while I’m really looking forward to one of them, it’s not so much what they are as much as they all happen to be on one day. It wasn’t supposed to happen that way. My hair appointment was supposed to be today. I swear it was. I got to …

Showered!

I did it! I am showered and dressed and out and about. I am early to my doctor’s appointment so I’m sitting in my car listening to the radio and wishing that I had eaten breakfast. Oh well. I have so many things this week! Some are fun and some are just appointments, but I …

Virtual everything

I am in a funk. I didn’t make it to church this morning either. I completely slept through my alarm and slept until 1:15 PM. Oops. I can still watch church online, and I plan to, but I did both my dietican and therapy online this week too because I didn’t feel up to going …