Waking up in pain

I can’t sleep because I keep waking up in tremendous pain. This sucks. I’m really trying to not let it get to my mood, but it’s very difficult. It’s especially challenging because I have so many things that I need to do and the pain is really distracting. I did get my paper started last …

I cleaned something!

Very literally I scrubbed the toilet and took out the trash in the bathroom. I also did a load of laundry. Considering how much my shoulder hurts, that’s about all I could do, but it made me feel better about that space. It’s like a little achievement, but it meant a lot. I’ve been staring …

You guys, I did it!!!

I sat in class for four hours and it was okay! I even did the homework I was supposed to do ahead of time. All of the reading and the evaluation thing. Whew! I did it! I was so nervous not knowing what to expect. It went okay though. It wasn’t awesome, but it was …

So freaked out!!!!!!

My first class for my grad program is tonight. I’m completely freaking out. I did all the homework and the readings, but I’m worried that I am going to mess up somehow. I don’t know. I just…. I really want to do well. We had to do this really intense evaluation thing beforehand. It was …

Accomplishing things slowly

It sort of feels like there are million things in my way right now, but I’m slowly getting across them. I helped my mom pay for my school today. That was a huge deal. I was worried that I wasn’t going to be able to go. I mean, she paid, but I helped her navigate …

Stupid emergency room

I sort of “casually” went to the emergency room today. Before you judge me, hear me out. I couldn’t get an appointment with my doctor for a solid week and I went to the immediate care place associated with my health system and they would not help with my issue. So… the only way to …

Goals for tomorrow…

I mostly didn’t do anything today. Actually, I really didn’t do anything today. So… I have to make a list of things to do tomorrow so that I actually accomplish something. I need to shower. I need to get my ear checked out if it still hurts tomorrow. I need to do at least two …

Wild week

I’ve been spending most of my time in bed since I got out of the hospital a month ago. I talked to my therapist and she and I agreed that it was mostly due to depression even through it’s not the way depression usually presents in me. This week, things spun out though because I …

No motivation…

I have giant messes everywhere and I am not motivated to clean them up. I have been in bed for weeks. I don’t want to do anything. I so need to get up and out and find my motivation. I don’t know when or how. I am just kind of flattened. I think it’s some …

When history repeats itself….

Back in the ER and waiting for a room this time. My pancreas is not cooperating. Fun fun! I feel icky. I just want to nap. I don’t feel well. I did get into graduate school though! Yay! I’m pretty stoked about that. Just gotta get over this nasty stuff. Photo by me.