Too hot!

My church meets outside in the summer and today is just too hot for me to attend. I am sad about it, but I’m not going to go and overheat. I’m assuming that next week, because it’s supposed to be so hot, they will move it inside to the air conditioning. Then I can go. …

Church in the summertime

My church meets outside in the summer. It’s okay when it’s a nice day and not too hot. It’s kind of a picnic atmosphere and everyone brings their own chairs and blankets and just hangs out. It is a nice relaxed atmosphere. I really like it… I mean unless it’s super hot. My cousin came …

It’s morning…

I have bags under my eyes. It’s fantastic. I swear I got eight hours of sleep. I’m not sure why I’m so puffy this morning. I did have some pretty psychedelic dreams though. Whew! I don’t remember them very well, except that they were strange. It’s time for coffee for sure. Too bad the keurig …

Broken stuff

If I had private insurance or a slew of money, I could get care right now for this eating disorder no questions asked. Instead, I have to jump through a zillion hoops and still probably not get help, or be so sick that I will likely be too sick. It’s really stupid. I’m not really …

Bible study was awesome!

I made it through the whole thing without getting anxious or upset. It was so cool. I was afraid that I would panic, but I didn’t and it was amazing. I wish I could do that with other things. I don’t know why this was so much different for me than yesterday. Maybe because it …

Something every day…

I have had some kind of activity every day this week. Some have been doctors appointments and some have been outings with friends, but I’ve done something to get out of my bed and my house every day. That used to make me feel overwhelmed and over scheduled, but it has actually been okay. I …

I made it to church!!!

I did not get a shower unfortunately, but I decided my hair didn’t look too terrible and I didn’t stink so… my church is a “come as you are” kind of place. I am here. That’s what matters. I need to get myself into the sanctuary still, but I’m here. Image from Pexels.

I don’t know if I can do church today…

This is an accurate representation of what anxiety looked like when I woke up. I am not sure I can force myself into the shower, (a necessary thing before church), and get myself to church today. First, it’s Mother’s Day here and and I am already panicking about dinner later and I kind of just …

There were tears…

…but I got through church. I didn’t have a full blown panic attack this time. Just tears started. I managed to breathe my way through. It was okay. I signed up to volunteer with people from my church at the homeless shelter and I signed up for a Bible study class at church as well. …

Anxious about church…

So it’s Sunday. That means it’s time to go to church again. Last week I had a panic attack in the middle of the service. I am worried about that happening again, so I’m just kind of hesitant to go this week. I know I need to go. I miss out on things when I …