Bookshelves

I met with my therapist today and I talked to her about how I learned to regulate my emotions by shelving them. I tend to avoid intense emotions by packing them up and putting them on the shelf. I practiced experiencing emotion today in her office. I hated it. I am trying. It was just …

Missing people

There are just some people who come into my life and leave such a lasting and indelible mark that I will never forget them. Sometimes, even when things are going well, I really miss them. I miss the conversations and the camaraderie. I miss the way their light shines and the way I feel when …

Awake early!

I am up early because I have a therapy appointment first thing this morning. I tried to get myself into the shower this morning, (I carried my clothes into the bathroom and everything), but I just couldn’t do it. I am so tired. I had plenty of caffeine this morning, but I couldn’t get myself …

Unmotivated today

I was going to get stuff done today, I swear. I planned on it, but the day just took a left turn. I know it’s because I was up too late last night. I slept until two in the afternoon today and then I didn’t feel like doing anything. Ugh. I tried to pump caffeine …

I cleaned!

I managed to spend some time cleaning my closet. I guess that is part of my room so I can count it as cleaning that space. I also went grocery shopping with my stepdad and hauled everything into the house, so I did my good deeds for the day. It’s cloudy and gross today so …

Back from vacay!

I went up north and made a brief trip over to Mackinac Island. I sat in the park and ate brunch and shopped for a new sweatshirt (but didn’t find anything), and I bought fudge, (which the island is famous for), for friends and family. I also just had a lovely time with my cousin’s …

Something good in therapy…

I had a really good session with my therapist today. Maybe it was just that I hadn’t seen her in what felt like forever. I’m not sure. It just seemed like it was really productive. We talked about how I felt really invalidated by my medical teams and how much that sucked. We talked about …

A shower!

I finally crawled into the shower today. It took SO much effort. I did it so I could meet a friend today. And so I could go to my therapy appointment tomorrow. I took the shower and visited with my friend for an hour and a half and now I am literally toast. I am …

Trying to get better

I’ve been sick for going on three weeks. Some of you that follow me more regularly may have noticed my absence, some of you may have not, but regardless, I’ve been missing and I’m trying to get back into the swing of things. I had pancreatitis again and, like it always seems to be in …

Finally home

I am finally home from the hospital. After all of that, they still don’t know what happened or why I got so sick. They kind of chalk it up to pancreatitis, but they don’t really know. It’s super annoying. Regardless, I still feel like crap, but I’m home feeling that way instead of laying in …