Waking up in pain

I can’t sleep because I keep waking up in tremendous pain. This sucks. I’m really trying to not let it get to my mood, but it’s very difficult. It’s especially challenging because I have so many things that I need to do and the pain is really distracting. I did get my paper started last …

I cleaned something!

Very literally I scrubbed the toilet and took out the trash in the bathroom. I also did a load of laundry. Considering how much my shoulder hurts, that’s about all I could do, but it made me feel better about that space. It’s like a little achievement, but it meant a lot. I’ve been staring …

Med review today

I see my psych soon and I have things I really need to discuss with her. First on the list is changing my prescriptions from weekly pickups back to regular monthly pickups. Four or five months ago when I was not well, I guess it made sense, although I would never hurt myself with something …

Accomplishing things slowly

It sort of feels like there are million things in my way right now, but I’m slowly getting across them. I helped my mom pay for my school today. That was a huge deal. I was worried that I wasn’t going to be able to go. I mean, she paid, but I helped her navigate …

Stupid emergency room

I sort of “casually” went to the emergency room today. Before you judge me, hear me out. I couldn’t get an appointment with my doctor for a solid week and I went to the immediate care place associated with my health system and they would not help with my issue. So… the only way to …

Goals for tomorrow…

I mostly didn’t do anything today. Actually, I really didn’t do anything today. So… I have to make a list of things to do tomorrow so that I actually accomplish something. I need to shower. I need to get my ear checked out if it still hurts tomorrow. I need to do at least two …

Wild week

I’ve been spending most of my time in bed since I got out of the hospital a month ago. I talked to my therapist and she and I agreed that it was mostly due to depression even through it’s not the way depression usually presents in me. This week, things spun out though because I …

I totally failed today…

I was supposed to see my dietician today at 1 pm. I woke up at 12:45. Seriously. So… obviously I did not make it to the appointment that was across town. FAIL. I just went back to sleep after rescheduling. That means I didn’t clean either. FAIL. I am so frustrated with myself. I can’t …

I’m probably irrational, but…

I have an ultrasound tomorrow to check a cyst on my ovary. I’m trying to be reasonable about it. I mean, it’s likely not serious, but it could be. It’s probably not cancer. It’s probably not a huge deal. I’m kind of worried I am going to need surgery though, and that would screw up …

Have to leave the house

I’m so not enthusiastic about leaving my cave. I like my house. It’s safe. It’s comfy. And I don’t have to shower to be here, (at least not EVERY DAY). It’s exhausting just to think about leaving if I’m honest. I’m just… overwhelmed. I am tired. I’m always tired now. I said I would help …