What goes up, must come down. My fun hypomanic episode has come to an end. It had to of course, but I’m seriously bummed. I hate depression. The hopelessness and the feeling that it’s never going to end, even though I know realistically that it will. I’m just tired of the ride. People say that … Continue reading Crash and burn
Some of you might think this picture is beautiful, but that really isn’t the point. Why is the world so awful right now? It’s impossible to turn on the television without seeing something horrific. It’s not just the war in Ukraine. It’s everything. Every show I watch, every movie, it’s all gross, or violent, or … Continue reading Why is the world so ugly?
…and it’s super annoying. Why are my thoughts racing when I’m horrifically depressed? I’m assuming it’s some kind of mixed depression thing. I’m also having a hard time sleeping most nights. Then sometimes I sleep so much I can’t get myself to wake up when I need to. So who knows? I just know that … Continue reading Can’t stop the racing thoughts…
I am meeting with a vocational coach tomorrow. I absolutely don’t think I’m ready. I need time to grieve and clean up my mess of a life at home, let alone attempt some kind of job. Seriously. I mean, I’m all for setting myself up to fail, but really. I honestly don’t think I can … Continue reading Vocational Coach?
It’s 2:45 a.m. in the morning and I’m wide awake. This is ridiculous. I am tired, but not sleepy. My thoughts are racing in not a good way. I don’t know if this is the start of a mixed episode, or just part of the depressive funk I’m in. I’m just not loving it whatever … Continue reading Insomnia is kicking my butt!
It’s hard to write this. Honestly. I was in a relationship with a person who freaking lied to me for two and half of the three years we were together and continued to lie to me in the period after that. I didn’t write about that relationship here. Ever. Mostly because I know that family … Continue reading It’s possible for one person to wreak havoc on a life…
It’s snowing. Again. I had to go to the doctor again today and she wants me to see this other doctor who is 2.5 hours away and doesn’t take my insurance. I’m trying to figure out the financials of that. She also prescribed a medication that isn’t covered by my insurance. Guess who isn’t getting … Continue reading I am having a bad day
I suppose my last post makes me look callous and uncaring. There’s so much history and backstory missing from that post. Stuff I can’t really divulge on this blog because it’s not entirely anonymous and because I am not out to harm anyone. I’m just feeling all the feels today. Bear with me. Image from … Continue reading Sorry
So here’s the thing. I have this friend. We’ve been friends now for a few years. I don’t write about my friends here because I usually choose to protect their anonymity and this blog is about my journey, not theirs. However, this friend has caused me some serious harm over the years; harm I’ve overlooked … Continue reading This whole post requires a trigger warning ⚠️
My friend calls me from the hospital every day and I don’t know what to say to her. Tonight, she asked me how I was and I just finally told her I was anxious and I was possibly going to have to switch therapists for a while to do EMDR. My friend asked if it … Continue reading Mixed blessing?