Lab.

I’m at the lab waiting to get my blood drawn to see if my pancreatitis is getting better or worse. I really don’t want to spend thanksgiving in the hospital. That would suck. At the same time, I’m really concerned as to why I keep getting elevated pancreatic enzyme levels with no explanation. I need …

Dread.

It’s DBT group time and I’m completely dreading it. It’s not that I hate it, I just don’t want to sit in front of my computer for two hours. I’m over doing things virtually. Over it. So whatever. It is what it is. Look at me practicing radical acceptance. Sigh. Image from Pexels.

Covid.

I am beyond over this stupid virus. I am so tired of lockdowns and fear and people attempting to shame other people into doing things like shame is an effective tool. I’m tired of people being rude and condescending. I’m tired of the “I had covid so I am a victim and my story is …

Tears.

I have a blinding headache this morning. It started last night and it won’t go away. Tomorrow is also the birthday of one of my very best friends who passed away six years ago. I know it’s been a while, but it still stings and I still miss him. I’m just a little extra vulnerable …

Thankful: 9th

I enjoy a lot of people’s blogs. Honestly, if you write from the heart, I’m thankful for your blog. I’m super thankful for my blog. It has gotten me through some really dark times. When I have had emotions I didn’t think I could manage, I poured them out here and felt 1000% times better. …

Out…

I’m seriously trying not to make this face during DBT group. I’m mostly checking out during the whole thing. Like, I have no idea what people just said. I’m bored out of my mind. Virtual group is worse than real group and I am struggling. I am not loving it. It’s two hours of pain. …

Defeated.

I am feeling completely defeated by my graduate program. It’s not especially academically challenging, it’s just I don’t fit in at all and I think I hate it. I should have done nursing. Like, I am being bombarded with Marxist/socialist thoughts 24/7 and that is so not me. I can’t even fake that it’s me, …

Nothing.

I didn’t do anything to celebrate Halloween this year. I usually paint a pumpkin and get excited about passing out treats to the littles, but it just didn’t happen this year. I’m a little bummed about it if I’m honest. It’s just like another sign that I’m officially getting old. I also didn’t do anything …

Really??

I had a “video visit” with one of the doctors in the practice that I go to. It wasn’t with my doctor or this idiocy would not have happened, (at least I don’t think it would have happened). I told him how I had been feeling super fatigued and how it had come on rather …

Pancake.

I’m so tired. Just exhausted. I got my covid results back today and it was negative, but something is wrong. I feel like I’ve been run over flat by a big truck. I have no energy. Maybe it’s “just” a virus, but it’s taking me out. I mean, I’d rather it be that than my …