I am so glad I had therapy today. I talked to her about being in the hospital and how I basically just disassociated to survive being in there. She was glad I got out when I did because she agreed with me that I probably would have just gotten worse had I stayed in there. … Continue reading Therapy was so helpful today
Category: Mixed episodes
Diagnosis: Mixed
I just realized today that the psychiatrist at the hospital diagnosed me as being in a severe mixed episode without psychotic features. Seriously. That man does not know what a mixed episode looks like I promise. I am not mixed. I know when I am mixed. I am absolutely miserable when I am that way … Continue reading Diagnosis: Mixed
Questionable today…
I woke up tired. I hate that. I had dreams all night long because I’m really anxious about therapy today. Not only do I have to eat something triggering with her, I also have to talk to her about how I am afraid to call coaching now. I know one of her staff from a … Continue reading Questionable today…
Experiments with jello!
I tried to eat solid food for the first time since Wednesday morning. Oops!!!!! This particular experiment failed. I just cannot tolerate them as of yet. It’s going to be a problem down the road. I’m seriously frustrated with the word “diabetes” that keeps getting tossed around. Apparently, every time my pancreas acts up it … Continue reading Experiments with jello!
Awake for two days…
Except for a couple of naps, I’ve been awake for two days. I don’t really know what has brought this change. I’m not sure if it’s the change in weather or a delayed reaction to daylight saving time… I just know it’s miserable. I don’t feel particularly manic, but I mean, I can see some … Continue reading Awake for two days…
All-nighter
I can’t find the “off” switch. I’ve been awake since 10:30 a.m. yesterday and it’s nearly 1:00 p.m. now. I am tired, but not sleepy. I think I can count the number of times I have been able to stay up all night long, (even when manic), on less than one hand. I am kind … Continue reading All-nighter
Still awake…
…and I’m so excited about it! Just kidding. It’s 4 a.m. here and I cannot get to sleep. I’m very frustrated. I have therapy today so I need to get some sleep before that. I am completely useless without sleep and I don’t want lack of sleep to sort of occlude the real issues going … Continue reading Still awake…
Can’t stop the racing thoughts…
…and it’s super annoying. Why are my thoughts racing when I’m horrifically depressed? I’m assuming it’s some kind of mixed depression thing. I’m also having a hard time sleeping most nights. Then sometimes I sleep so much I can’t get myself to wake up when I need to. So who knows? I just know that … Continue reading Can’t stop the racing thoughts…
The roar of the wind
There’s a front coming through and the temperature is dramatically dropping at the same time. It’s also super windy. My head is not in love with this weather. I feel sort of gross from it. The only positive I can mark is that I slept in today, which I am happy about since I’ve been … Continue reading The roar of the wind
Full of possibilities…
I went to breakfast with a friend this morning and she is sleeping right now like I should be. I am toast from the steroids they have me on from this allergic reaction, or from the reaction itself, not sure which. Anyway, I can’t sleep so I’m kind of planning out my day. Another friend … Continue reading Full of possibilities…