Giving up fear…

Choosing to clean may look like an weird way to express giving up fear, but hear me out. My bedroom has been a disaster area for a year. At least. For that year, I have been in and out of the hospital more times than I can count with pancreatitis. It’s gotten so bad that … Continue reading Giving up fear…

Woo hoo!

Yay for self care! I got in the shower and I shaved my legs! If you don’t do that, let me tell you what happens when you don’t keep up on that even a little bit. It becomes a huge chore. Like an extra twenty minutes in the shower kind of chore. I thought I … Continue reading Woo hoo!

I found some

I was looking for motivation to get moving today. I got a hold of a friend and we are going to hang out later today at their house. It will be low key and I won’t have to really do anything. Thankfully. I do have to take a shower before I go over there though, … Continue reading I found some

Need motivation

I have been living on bananas and Honey Nut Cheerios without milk. I have no energy and I feel awful. I desperately need a shower and to do some self care things that have been lacking. Maybe paint my nails or something. I just feel yucky. My lovely friend who lives in North Carolina sent … Continue reading Need motivation


I have been crying all morning. I have no idea how to manage pancreatitis at home. I woke up dry heaving and feeling terrible. I don’t feel terrible “enough” to go back to the emergency room I guess, but I feel pretty awful. I am freezing, but I don’t have a fever. I am running … Continue reading Trying…

Angry and sad

I am not in the hospital right now, but that doesn’t mean I couldn’t be there tomorrow. I have no idea what sets off these pancreatic attacks and why I keep ending up in the hospital. The last time was the third or fourth time this year. I’ve lost track now. I just know that … Continue reading Angry and sad

Sleep bank

I know there is allegedly no such thing as a “sleep bank”- meaning that I can’t sleep a bunch one night and then not sleep the next and still count myself as rested. I still operate that way though. I didn’t sleep very much last night, but I slept a ton the night before. I … Continue reading Sleep bank