Kinda traumatized…

I know this seems like maybe a small thing, but really. I have just spent basically three weeks in the hospital.

Some of it I thankfully do not remember with amazing clarity thanks to the pain meds, but other parts I do.

I distinctly remember the feeding tube and having to have it places twice just for it to fall out of my face.

I remember how my throat hurt for four days afterwards.

I remember the three waits in the emergency room for endless hours.

I remember feeling like I was losing my mind on the holding unit thinking the staff was talking about me. I remember listening to the emergency room staff actually talking about me.

I sat in a bed for three weeks with very few visitors. I had limited outreach abilities as well.

I know it’s not trauma like other people have experienced, or even like other trauma I have experienced in the past, but it was traumatized.

I guess I’m just having a difficult time sorting it out.

Photo by me.