Kinda traumatized…

I know this seems like maybe a small thing, but really. I have just spent basically three weeks in the hospital.

Some of it I thankfully do not remember with amazing clarity thanks to the pain meds, but other parts I do.

I distinctly remember the feeding tube and having to have it places twice just for it to fall out of my face.

I remember how my throat hurt for four days afterwards.

I remember the three waits in the emergency room for endless hours.

I remember feeling like I was losing my mind on the holding unit thinking the staff was talking about me. I remember listening to the emergency room staff actually talking about me.

I sat in a bed for three weeks with very few visitors. I had limited outreach abilities as well.

I know it’s not trauma like other people have experienced, or even like other trauma I have experienced in the past, but it was traumatized.

I guess I’m just having a difficult time sorting it out.

Photo by me.

4 thoughts on “Kinda traumatized…

  1. It was traumatic for you, so you have trauma. We like to compare our traumas and struggles -worse than her, better than him – but my counsellor tells me it’s a bad idea. Our trauma is ours, and we don’t have to negate it because somewhere, someone else is dealing with worse.

    I’m glad your home and processing. Writing posts like this always helps me do that.

    Liked by 1 person

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