Water is amazing to me…

Trigger warning ⚠️ eating disorder

⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️

Seriously, how does a person gain 1.5lbs in a day in water weight?

I mean, it has to be that because in all fairness it wasn’t food.

So really? Water? Come on.

Now, should I have stepped on that scale this evening? Absolutely not. That was a poor choice.

But still. It’s fascinating. It also better be gone by tomorrow.

It probably won’t be and I will be all about the water restriction tomorrow too, but seriously.

I am so frustrated. I’m just at my next set of numbers on the scale to be in and I really want to see them. Not that the first number is going to change for a long while, but the second one is about to. I’m just like anxiously waiting to see it flip.

Also, why are the days where I restrict a lot better days? Why is my mood so much better on those days? I don’t understand that. You’d think my mood would be crap. It’s not. I feel almost a “high” like hypomania from it. It doesn’t last through the next day and I can still sleep, but it definitely is there.

Like, why wouldn’t I do this every day?

I get intellectually that it’s not healthy. It’s just super addictive.

So yeah. I’m like literally afraid to tell my therapist and dietican this because I think it’s a one way ticket to the hospital. Which I also think is a freaking huge waste of time where I will be more detrimental to the population that is there than helpful to me.

I just don’t feel bad. I’m not losing hair. I am not having other physiological effects. I mean, maybe my pulse is screwy because of it, but the cardiologist seems very nonplussed about the whole thing.

I started taking a multivitamin at the recommendation of my primary care. He was also unconcerned.

So the only people freaking out are my dietican, who’s not really wrong that I’m experiencing an eating disorder, and my therapist, who isn’t really freaking out she just wants to get a handle on it. Honestly though, my therapist doesn’t freak out about much of anything. I love that about her.

Anyway. Back to my original thought. How do you gain 1.5lbs of water in a day?? I didn’t even drink that much? Ugh!

Frustrated.

Image from Pexels.

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3 thoughts on “Water is amazing to me…

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