Kind of scared today…

…because today is cardiology day.

It’s only a fifteen minute appointment so I’m pretty certain he will just order a monitor or whatever and send me on my way.

I guess.

Maybe an echo.

I just really don’t want to end up with a pacemaker like my dad. I’m only 42.

Just give me thirty years on that one.

The thing is, if it is due to eating disorder causes, I couldn’t stop that train now if I wanted to. It’s not a choice.

So, just a little terrified he’s going to tell me I screwed up my heart.

Maybe I’ll feel relieved. I don’t know.

I know that’s an odd statement.

It’s hard to fight all the time.

Anyway, I’m just worried about the appointment and how I’ll feel. I guess we’ll find out.

Image from Pexels.

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6 thoughts on “Kind of scared today…

    1. Thanks. It was okay. Got a heart monitor and it is going to be fine since when I walked on the treadmill my heart rate was like 3x higher than resting. That’s all he wanted to see… a spike when I exercised.

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