Two days….

I have two days until I see my psych.

I have no idea what she will want to do, if anything, to my meds.

Last time was a total and complete disaster.

Maybe I should ask her to leave them alone, and just work on my issues in therapy, but I’m not sure if it’s a therapy issue or a med issue.

I know I’ve been through a lot of trauma in the last six months. I know that is what is making life particularly difficult right now.

At the same time, once a week therapy is not getting it done.

So, I don’t know. I can’t really see my therapist more often than that on a regular basis (last week was an anomaly).

I need something to help with this mood state and help lift me out of this hole.

It seems like there should be a med solution for that. The only problem is that I’ve reacted so poorly to so many meds it’s not funny.

So I don’t know.

I’m just feeling like I’m at a crossroads. I need help, but I don’t know how to get it.

I am just lost.

I don’t have the personal wealth to go for ketamine treatments, which experience says would help, and neither does anyone around me, so that’s not an option.

I just need to figure this out.

I don’t know what I’m doing with myself for the next two days. I need activities, but I’m just overwhelmed.

At least I have church tomorrow.

Sigh.

Image from Pexels.