Kind of not okay today…

I don’t know that “feeling better” is worth feeling like crap.

I feel like a mess and I’m loopy and tired and sad.

It’s like all of my defense mechanisms have been stripped away and I’m left with “crappy.”

I have just been laying here crying all afternoon.

I took the stupid med again because, well, I’m supposed to, but how stupid is that? I’m not court ordered to. I don’t have to. I want to feel better, but is this really worth it?

How do I know that this med is going to do that anyway? I mean, I don’t know that it’s not going to, but I have to survive this initial wave of awful, and that’s questionable at this point.

So… yeah. I’m safe and all, I’m just miserable.