I figured out my problem…

…or part of it at least.

So I am having such a hard time with the side effects of this new medication because it’s reminding me that I’m living with a mental illness.

I know that sounds kind of stupid because I blog about bipolar disorder on the regular, but it’s not something that I actively notice constantly anymore. I mean, I’m depressed 90% of the time and I’m used to that, but I didn’t have side effects from the multiple meds I was on before this and so I didn’t have to deal with those.

I am just having to face it… again… and I don’t like it.

It’s like a grieving process all over again.

Don’t get me wrong, I still think there’s trauma about having side effects based on my multitude of bad ones, and I am still kind of miserable with the grogginess and “almost” headachy feeling, but I also think the grieving is part of it.

I know I have been posting a lot so if you are reading this, thanks.

I just have been processing a lot of things and writing helps me to get it out there. My blog is a public journal because I hope that maybe someone will relate to something I’ve written, or someone will read what I’ve written and realize people living with bipolar disorder are really just people with lives.

Anyway, yeah. Hopefully this med doesn’t keep me awake tonight because I really want to go to church tomorrow.

Sigh.

Image from Pexels.

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