The person I talked to tonight said…

…that maybe all of this depression was just grief.

I mean… maybe.

I guess it could be me just grieving. It feels deeper than that now though. Like a “settling in” has happened.

I know what depression feels like. I am pretty informed. I’ve lived with it on and off for most of my life and I’m pretty sure I know when it’s hitting me.

I am definitely feeling that old familiar way.

I don’t know.

I guess it just wasn’t super helpful to talk to her. She’s not my regular therapist, just someone on the team that called me when I called in for “coaching” tonight, so maybe that’s the issue.

I feel like I have been appropriately grieving. I’ve been doing that for months.

I don’t think this newer deal is all grief. I think it’s an episode of depression. I’m pretty convinced it is.

I mean, it stared as a trauma reaction, but it’s morphed. I guess I will just have to talk it out with my therapist tomorrow.

Again, I hate this.

Image from Pexels.