I am paralyzed by anxiety today

I should be cleaning.

I should be walking on the treadmill.

I should be doing something.

Instead, I’m sitting here freaking out.

I need to make some things happen today. It’s gorgeous outside and I should be out there enjoying it.

I mean, I don’t know what to do in it. I don’t have kids to take to the park or a dog to walk. My stamina is not up to the point where I can walk in my neighborhood (too many hills)! Gas is stupid expensive so I’m not really up for “going for a drive.”

I need a positive activity.

I mean, I have lots of ideas. I’m just so anxious about this stupid appointment this afternoon to do any of them. I could do some art or write a poem outside. I could grab a book and head outside.

I don’t know. I really only have an hour.

Maybe I’ll wait a half hour and then go grab some actual lunch since all I’ve eaten today is a banana and a tiny amount of orange juice.

I guess.

I don’t know.

I hate things today.

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