Insomnia is kicking my butt!

It’s 2:45 a.m. in the morning and I’m wide awake.

This is ridiculous.

I am tired, but not sleepy.

My thoughts are racing in not a good way.

I don’t know if this is the start of a mixed episode, or just part of the depressive funk I’m in. I’m just not loving it whatever it is.

I can’t keep staying awake until all hours trying to fight to go to sleep.

I gave up tonight.

I got a healthy snack and found a show on tv and decided just to go with it. Fighting it just didn’t make sense.

I am just feeling frustrated that I can’t rest. I know I need it.

Maybe it’s a trauma response. Honestly, the stuff I’ve been through over the past few years NO ONE should have to go through. Some of it is literally a plot line on a current soap opera.

Really.

Anyway, I am just not feeling okay tonight. I mean, I’m safe, just not okay.

The racing thoughts are intrusive and unwelcome. The insomnia isn’t welcome to the party either.

Hopefully my body shuts down soon.

Photo by me.

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