I finally just told my friend not to contact me anymore.
I did that yesterday.
It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life.
I had to though.
I mean, it just came down to my survival. I wasn’t going to make it if I continued to maintain ties to her. I would have drowned.
It was happening so fast there at the end. I could feel it happening. I was choking on the water and mud and I was so barely clinging to life at that point that I had to do something.
So I jumped for air.
My struggle with mental illness has been well documented on here and I can’t say that this relationship helped my growth really. I was on the path to a lot of things before this person came into my life.
I wish I could get the time back.
Time with family, friends, myself.
Nothing much to do but rebuild my life from here.
So I’m doing it.
I’m depressed and unsure of my next steps, but hopefully they will be headed towards growth from here on out.
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