I need to let go of my friend.
I can’t stay in this person’s life.
I just can’t.
It’s so toxic and it is so damaging to my mental health that it has to end.
The thing is, I was in a position for so long of “caregiving” and “protecting” that I don’t know how to just “shut it off.”
I have to though.
It feels like I am abandoning this person.
It feels like I’m leaving this person right when they need me the most.
What kind of jerk does that?
And yet, it’s one crisis after another and it always feels like I can’t leave. Always.
I’ve known it was toxic for a really long time.
It has just been proven to me recently.
I am never going to get the closure I need from this. I have to resolve myself to that.
My heart is totally broken. Soul crushed, broken.
I just have this thought that if I keep a tiny thread attached at least I’m not totally shattered.
I’m afraid of what happens when I just let go.
I don’t know.
This is so stupid.
Image from Pexels.