This whole post requires a trigger warning ⚠️

So here’s the thing.

I have this friend.

We’ve been friends now for a few years. I don’t write about my friends here because I usually choose to protect their anonymity and this blog is about my journey, not theirs.

However, this friend has caused me some serious harm over the years; harm I’ve overlooked in my desire to “be a good friend” and out of my care for this person.

If you’ve followed me for a while I hope you have some sense of who I am. I’m fiercely loyal and will support other people even to my detriment.

That’s the thing, though. I was friends with this person and helped them and supported them AND THEY LIED.

Not just some tiny little white lie.

An “I have cancer” lie.

So, for nearly two years of our friendship, this person watched my tears of agony about whether they would live or die all the while sitting back knowing that one simple truth could set me free from my torment.

Yet they watched instead.

This person lied to everyone that cared about them.

We’ve all heard differing reasons as to why.

It doesn’t even matter.

I finally, a week after I was told this news by my friend who I trusted and thought I knew, let them know how much pain they had caused me. I didn’t yell, I didn’t accuse, but I did finally stand up for me.

Do you know what they did? They went and attempted suicide. AGAIN. They set me up to have to frantically call the police. AGAIN.

Yes, this is the same friend who nearly died in November.

I honestly cannot take any more of this from this person. It’s literally more than I have to maintain this.

I should make it clear that a suicide attempt is not enough to scare me away. The nearly dying thing and setting me up to find them last November wasn’t enough. I stayed. I supported this person. I knew this person was ill and needed support. I’ve been there. I am not judging that.

I AM judging revenge-suicide. That is exactly what this person told me they were doing. That’s not okay. It will never BE okay.

At some point, I fight for me. I pray and hope that this person gets what they need, but it can’t be from me. Not anymore.

Here starts the real healing.

Image from Pexels.

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