Moving slowly

My friend said that she noticed that I am moving and talking really slowly today. I thought that was strange, because all I feel is heavy and tired. I hadn’t noticed the “slow.” I assume it must be depression. I mean, after all it’s one of the questions on the phq-9 depression screening thingie. I … Continue reading Moving slowly

Heavy

My heart is heavy And so is my mind My limbs won’t move And I find I can’t stop thinking Of you my dear And how you slipped Into your deepest fear Old original art by me.

Nothing is okay

I am not doing well at the moment. I’m trying to find things that are soothing and I’m failing. I can’t watch television or a movie because it is way overstimulating. I can’t focus to read. I can’t focus to create art. My stomach is a mess and I don’t want to put anything in … Continue reading Nothing is okay

my heart hurts

⚠️ ⚠️ ⚠️ ⚠️ ⚠️ ⚠️ My friend from high school completed suicide and I am heartbroken. I feel like I should have been able to do something to stop it. I knew she was in trouble. I knew it was bad. Since I didn’t know her baseline of bad, but kind of assumed it, … Continue reading my heart hurts

Suicide

⚠️ ⚠️ ⚠️ ⚠️ ⚠️ ⚠️ I found out, literally five minutes before therapy this morning, that my friend from high school that I was trying to help out completed suicide sometime in the last 48 hours. I am numb. I am completely disassociated from it. I tried to help her. I don’t feel like … Continue reading Suicide

LOCUS

They have this thing here at your annual review with the community mental health agency called “LOCUS.” It’s the worst thing in the world. Stupid people who have no familiarity with your case get on a call with you and your therapist or case manager or whomever and ask you questions about how you’re doing. … Continue reading LOCUS