Okay. So. Long story.
I called for DBT coaching because I was supposed to check in for accountability reasons.
It did not go well.
The person that was on call is someone I know from another iteration of that person’s life. I don’t hold anything against this person for that, but it makes things super awkward.
This person asked me if I had a problem being coached by them. I didn’t want to say “no” and risk hurting their feelings, knowing what I know about this person, so I just said I didn’t have a problem with it. That’s on me, but I am not the type to make waves like that.
So… on to what really ticked me off, because the above stuff just made me feel icky, not mad.
I got mad when she said, “what skills have you used so far?”
Man I freaking hate that question. Does anyone answer that honestly? Really? Because when I get asked that question, I instantly see red and have to chill myself out long enough to spit out some rando DBT skills that seem relevant and try to end the conversation ASAP.
It’s so patronizing. I hate it.
It’s condescending and annoying and super unhelpful. If I had used skills that helped, clearly I wouldn’t be calling. Duh.
A MUCH better approach is: “have you tried x?” I don’t mind that. I don’t see red and want to throw my phone when I get that.
Anyway, I’m just mad. I texted my therapist at like 10pm and told her I wasn’t dealing with this person again. In hindsight, I probably should have waited until tomorrow to do that, but I was angry and not thinking. I’ll have to apologize later.
I am an idiot.
Anyway, I am more upset after this stupid phone call than I was before it. So that’s awesome. I am not a happy camper.
I don’t even feel like I can call the coaching line anymore.
I don’t want to.
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